Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why my new package of condoms was open. When she failed to change the subject, she responded with, “This is why you’re a depressive crybaby who’ll die alone!” The fight ended with me proposing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML
Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML
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Top comments
bushyyboy 11
Don't ask if you can't handle the truth there big guy?
Amama_fml 30
Don't you mean Little Guy?
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Comments (93)
spikekutter 9
what is it? a two inch?
poccocurantes 7
Well it's been swell, but the swellings gone down.
token_blackguy 18
If she is still having sex with you. You can't complain.
Steve95401 49
But she probably asks "Is it in yet?".
OhDearBetrayal 25
Depressing.
mansen 15
as Freud would say, someone is still stuck in the phallic stage...
Jaden56 3
There are just something's you don't ask if you can't handle the truth.
xxlizsandraxx 7
sucks to be you
perdix 31
Watch ****. It that looks like you, you've got a big package. Otherwise, you don't. (This doesn't count if it's "chick with a dick" ****.)
akiahara 14
Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.
AllegroRubato 16
IF you indeed are not all that big, she could have been nicer about it; that being said, she could also have been meaner about it so, all in all, not that bad a deal? Look, if she's with you (despite the imagined problem) and not cheating on you (despite the imagined problem) then everything should be dandy.
Me1977 8
1. Cut a hole in the engagement ring box 2. Put your junk in that box 3. Make her open the box... and that's the way you do it! And you don't even need to get a big diamond ring.
RedPillSucks 33
Well, if he's able to hand her the box (instead of her reaching to his groin for it) then he is indeed hung like a horse. Nay, like an elephants trunk.
poccocurantes 7
If he is able to put the ring on the question is moot.