Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why my new package of condoms was open. When she failed to change the subject, she responded with, “This is why you’re a depressive crybaby who’ll die alone!” The fight ended with me proposing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML
Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML
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Top comments
bushyyboy 11
Don't ask if you can't handle the truth there big guy?
Amama_fml 30
Don't you mean Little Guy?
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Comments (93)
WeezingTheJuice 5
At least he doesn't get the I don't want to have sex. It Hurts. FML indeed.
rarememory 7
I bet you're madder then a mufucka
Tempest151 11
Time to buy a really nice car.
chuckles1 3
You're hoping your girlfriend has seen enough packages to comment and compare????
karlcolt45 19
we're in a lil pickle, dick
OhHell_itsEmily 8
Lol. Well apparently she is still with you, so it must be good enough for her!
DanielleinDC 34
New rules: Women should never ask their men if an article of clothing makes them look fat. Men should never ask if their dicks are big enough. And boys, while size matters somewhat, what you do with it, your fingers, and your tongue matter more.
TheGoldStandard 6
Oh well. Shes still around so she must like it. Dont beat yourself up
ksks1234 33
OP: I get spam email about enhancing my penis size, since I am female, I can forward those on to you. It is on the Internet, so it has to be true.
iJUSTINsane 12
YOU WANT THE TRUTH?!?!?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!! Anyone that gets that reference gets a cookie （≧∇≦）
JanisEvans 10
Because that's such an obscure reference... Grow up.