Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why my new package of condoms was open. When she failed to change the subject, she responded with, “This is why you’re a depressive crybaby who’ll die alone!” The fight ended with me proposing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML
Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML
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Top comments
bushyyboy 11
Don't ask if you can't handle the truth there big guy?
Amama_fml 30
Don't you mean Little Guy?
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Comments (93)
jennuhm 4
It is what it is...own what you got bc you can't change it!
Amishanthony 6
Sometimes we ask loaded intimate questions to our significant others....and sometimes they lack the compassion to play it nice. She knew saying that would both upset you and possibly start another fight yet she did it under the guise that she intentionally didn't want to fight while implying a clear insult to your manhood. Bitch.
JanisEvans 10
Oh come on, you must have realised in one locker room or another that you're on the small end. Don't ask if you can't handle the truth.
cmac86 24
ask a silly question...
immumo 2
Why can't she just lie and make her man happy. It is these little things that make all the difference!
RedPillSucks 33
Why should she have to? I think over the ages, women have gotten tired of massaging mens egos.
Werken247 14
Yeah, because lying is always good for a relationship.
GarageDragon 22
This isn't the sort of thing you ask jokingly. However, what matters most is that you know how to use what you've got.
Jon15805 7
Shouldn't matter. as long as it's bigger than 4 inches. It's all about how you move dude.
utvols 2
It's not the size of the ship it's the motion of the ocean? Every tried to get to England in a canoe?
galefrog 3
No such thing as a small man, just a lose woman.
Glidefedt 6
You never ask about that. No soup for you!