Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend asked me to straighten her hair while she did her makeup, even though I’ve never straightened hair before. I burned a length of it off, because I had no idea what I was doing. It’s super obvious from the back, but she’s gone out already. I’m a dead man when she gets home. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shadow_vamp_503 2
Ouch...painful. Still, it could have been worse. The burn could have been somewhere else...
forgettingsunday 0
40- thats not even relevant.... and thats potter puppet pals, not chamber of secrets.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (41)
Shadow_vamp_503 2
Ouch...painful. Still, it could have been worse. The burn could have been somewhere else...
lone_wanderer 0
I love you :)
forgettingsunday 0
40- thats not even relevant.... and thats potter puppet pals, not chamber of secrets.
DumbStruck79 0
Best FML ever, your life sucks in so many ways...
stunty_fml 0
Exactly. What a depressing, sad and pitiful event has been thrown at your miserable life by cruel, ruthless fate.
Swatme101 0
That reaaaly sucks. well, at least you got laid :P
Dazzozo 0
Sexy.
allmidnighteyes 11
The back and forth shifting of past tense and present tense in this FML irks me.
Austinsnyder601 1
Now you don't have to worry about getting one when your 40...
Crystalyo 0
That's hilarious :D
teddyddet 3
Guess at that moment you were feeling "so hot"
blobner_bob 0
YDI for being a romantic person
Austinsnyder601 1
What would have been better if a candle fell in and made bubbles, so your gf thought you farted lol
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Talk about getting hot and steamy.