Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, my in-laws moved in. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML
Today, I walked into my hotel room, took off my coat and started unpacking. Ten minutes later, an older couple walked in, holding luggage. I'd gone into THEIR room. The receptionist gave me the wrong fob. They were surprisingly calm, but I had to explain why I’d already used one of their towels. FML
Today, after a very long day, I needed a hotel room but the only one available was a honeymoon suite. I was so tired, I just said yes. My wife just called demanding to know why I was charging a romantic room to our joint credit card, and if I’ve got a woman with me. I just want to go to sleep. FML
Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I practiced my wedding vows in front of the mirror we have in the hallway. When I was done, I heard clapping from my living room. Turns out my fiancé’s parents had come over early for dinner and had heard everything. FML
Today, we got on the plane for our honeymoon and her parents were on the same damn plane, going to the same spa resort, in the room next door, and my wife has the nerve to tell me it was a coincidence. How we supposed to get our sexy freak on, sharing a bedroom wall with her repressed mother? FML
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Top comments
uberrcool 0
Wow, that must suck. Maybe you could ask them to move? In a polite way?
Bigblackbunny 2
Who says it has to be in the hotel room? Go somewhere else.
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Comments (117)
nonotme 0
Not an FML because i can guarantee you, with absolutely no doubt in my mind whatsoever, the following things: 1) Your grandparents have heard, and seen, far worse things in their lives than you having sex in the next room if you're old enough to get married (i assume low-20's if you're also so naive that you waited til marriage for sex, silly you). 2) They expect you to be having sex and so will not care at all.
battousaix 0
My grandfather on one side has told me stories about what happens at the plant (car factory). My other side of the family has a few family trees spawning from one individual... I think in either case if they're able to sleep, then I didn't give them the show they expected...
knitbitch 0
Thankyou, #5! Go out and do it in the woods or something. Happy honeymoon!
lmmmr 0
Well, regardless of where your room was, SOMEONE was going to be unfortunate enough to be in the room next to you.
Goggles 0
Hello people, it's the HONEYMOON SUITE. Hotels take special care with the soundproofing of those walls. Unless of course you guys cheaped out on your hotel.
fml_fiend91 0
exactly old people are wild id be more worried about hearing them doing it
AlexZB 0
theyll be too busy having sex of their own
lordofpoon 0
make them proud
mattmag 0
No big deal. I'm sure they'd be more concerned if they didn't hear you consummate your marriage.
Emwo 0
They k now it'll happen anyway, hope your grandparents arent easily traumatized or you'll get a hi5 from your grandpa.
Kuroftw 0
Stop faking it and you'll be fine. (Or tell your wife to stop faking it.)