Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, my in-laws moved in. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML
Today, I walked into my hotel room, took off my coat and started unpacking. Ten minutes later, an older couple walked in, holding luggage. I'd gone into THEIR room. The receptionist gave me the wrong fob. They were surprisingly calm, but I had to explain why I’d already used one of their towels. FML
Today, after a very long day, I needed a hotel room but the only one available was a honeymoon suite. I was so tired, I just said yes. My wife just called demanding to know why I was charging a romantic room to our joint credit card, and if I’ve got a woman with me. I just want to go to sleep. FML
Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I practiced my wedding vows in front of the mirror we have in the hallway. When I was done, I heard clapping from my living room. Turns out my fiancé’s parents had come over early for dinner and had heard everything. FML
Today, we got on the plane for our honeymoon and her parents were on the same damn plane, going to the same spa resort, in the room next door, and my wife has the nerve to tell me it was a coincidence. How we supposed to get our sexy freak on, sharing a bedroom wall with her repressed mother? FML
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Top comments
uberrcool 0
Wow, that must suck. Maybe you could ask them to move? In a polite way?
Bigblackbunny 2
Who says it has to be in the hotel room? Go somewhere else.
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Comments (117)
Lisimal 7
Easy solution: just put loud music when you're doing "ya thing." Does hip hop music sound pleasing to you?
Manny_B92 0
Let's hope people don't listen to hip-hop having sex :-)
mylifesucks_alot 0
Call the front desk and request a different room. Simple as that.
cpatrick820 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Here's a solution: Make sweet, sweet monkey love, loud and proud so the whole FLOOR can here you. That way, the grandparents will feel compelled to leave. If not, they'll just die in a few years anyway.
FarSide 23
Honeymoon suite? In Room 201? Where you doing the nasty? La Quinta? How lovely... you can walk next door to Denny's afterwards and celebrate with a cherry milkshake.
eastmanwolf 0
They have cherry milkshakes now?
grlwitperlEring 0
Actually a lot more people than you would think just because a wedding is so ******* exhausting
haxromana 2
That sounds like my kind of wedding night, except make my shake chocolate, please. Not everyone has the means or inclination to spend (read: waste) a whole lot of money on a fancy hotel room. What's better...a nicely furnished hotel room that you probably won't remember the details of, or money towards savings/a nice trip/furniture for your first apartment?
cpatrick820 3
Ah, but they're in the Honeymoon Suite. It'd be more reasonable for the grandies to vacate
Nan_fml 0
Can you honestly not consummate quietly? I mean, if I was in Room 203, I sure as hell wouldn't appreciate being kept up all night by the raunchy sex noises of strangers. What does it matter whether its your grandparents or someone else in the room next to yours, its called respect and you could show a little of it.
FarSide 23
I hope the numnutz front desk clerk gives you Room 205.
SnIpEr_fml 0
And I hope they kick you out
holly_fly 34
It's their wedding night. I mean, no it's not exactly pleasant to listen to, but for this ONE NIGHT they have an excuse. It's understandable.
Chasted 0
There is always the bathroom...
bluebaby13 0
By the time your wedding ends...and you actually get to the hotel room, you will pass out. Sex might happen the next morning...but def not the night of the wedding.
domolovesyoshi 33
Yeah, most couples who don't go straight on their honeymoon are too dang tired or drunk to even be bothered to have sex the night off their wedding.
Cinnabar 0
Obviously all you had to do was pretend something about the room was unsatisfactory, and change rooms. Like the view or something. No harm done. Although having obnoxiously loud sex is going to be rude and obvious no matter what room you're in, so the best solution really is to be quiet!
Manny_B92 0
Who cares? I saw do it x2 as loud for them not knowing better... seriously who doesn't have sex the night after their wedding???
Manny_B92 0
Pun intended on the cherry milkshake?