Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are extremely active swingers by finding their online profile with photos of my mom with a dildo. I guess those out-of-town trips weren't just holidays. FML
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I was awakened by knocking on my door, only to find my parents standing there. Turns out, they booked two one-way tickets to visit me from another country. Their plan? I should scrap my upcoming 2-week vacation to hang out because they invested in this trip. Oh, and they didn't book a hotel. I'm 31. FML
Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents, who are in their late 50s, having sex. That's not the worst part, it's understandable; we all have needs. However, I walked in on them doing it on my bed. FML
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML
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Top comments
joliesbebes 0
well they are on vacation so let them have their fun crabby!
KMilliron 2
Define blood curdling...
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Comments (94)
kyleinsane 0
first
Easyaccess 0
u been watching too much HBO...
punkkitteh1 0
Realized noticed? OP, You just gave birth to a fail whale.
DRock525 0
this^
Aerious 0
I wanna have a fail whale too.
joliesbebes 0
well they are on vacation so let them have their fun crabby!
nhlnba2 6
Sounds like they've been having fun.
SirEBC 7
That's exactly what 3 just said.
RavenRiley007 4
they were being considerate
tulsafml 0
^ they just might have been.
bubble25_fml 5
^ that's what i call hardcore swingers!
rjnorton84 0
and incest!
Miss_Represented 0
Sounds like you're a jealous buzz-kill. :) I fail to see this as an FML, you went snooping, at least they were being sneaky.
iTaylor 0
blood curdling sex? whoa
superflyman 0
what the f**k is blood curdling sex
RedPillSucks 33
It's what happens to your blood when you hear or see your grandparents having sex.
kyleinsane 0
WTFUK
KMilliron 2
Define blood curdling...
kill4c4li 3
lol yeah really... o.0
OCDC 9
wwww.dictionary.com
KMilliron 2
Smartass attempt fail. Only three dubya's.
Yung23 0
no please don't:
docscientist 10
Just think about it by using that brain you might have. Blood. Curdle. Blood curdling.
OCDC 9
Oh wow, my bad. Because people obviously never make mistakes.
Ronan_k 0
lol OCDC Epic picture :)
memo619 0
realized noticed? o.o you don't need both words, just one
Ali_Br_fml 33
choose one... did you notice or realize? Sounds awkward... But at least they didn't do it right in your hotel. They were being polite.
SydneyIsSexie 0
i agree
Wheredidgrungego 12
I'm so skeeved out by old people sex. Not saying I condemn it, I just don't like the thought of saggy parts.
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lol same
ohyess909 0
could not agree more
CardMaster1992 0
you just haven't seen the buff old people. oh wait maybe you have, they just look real young.
vbmg152 19
That's because you're young! I felt the same way 30 years ago! wait till you're older!
TheBatmayne 0
Blood-curdling sex? Count me in.
llamagangster 0
At least they were enjoying their vacation!
muchagente 5
i don't like to be the one breaking the news, but... the fact that your parents and grandparents have sex is the reason that you are there. i could see why other people may have a problem with this, but you?
anonymous100000 17
just don't sleep in that room...or touch anything...