Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML
Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
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Top comments
r83839 22
You need to learn to stand your ground instead of giving into peer pressure.
MandyO 15
Your friends owe you a drink...of Pepto-Bismol and Imodium.
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Comments (32)
r83839 22
You need to learn to stand your ground instead of giving into peer pressure.
MandyO 15
Your friends owe you a drink...of Pepto-Bismol and Imodium.
poopehdoo 9
Just wondering - are people aware that immodium just blocks your bowel? Good for when you absolutely cannot reschedule something, but terrible in the long and short run. Your body is trying to get rid of toxic stuff and you're just keeping it in.
klutzyduck1 24
That's terrible, I've always been scared to have that happen in a public restroom (for many reasons). Especially a night club bathroom...ick. I'm sure choosing which to use the toilet for, was a difficult choice. Like the earlier commenter said about withstanding peer pressure, this situation may be a really good motivator for you to trust your own judgement in the future. It's hard when you feel like you are letting others down, but real friends would have been more concerned about how you were feeling, rather than pestering you to got to a club for their own entertainment. Silver lining: the club is mostly filled with strangers, so no one really knows who you are, which might lessen the embarrassment.
hkhan24 23
Your friends are idiots for dragging you but if I felt that bad I would have flat out refused no matter what.
girlvsocean 2
And he was an idiot for going out.
lexiieeex3 32
None of your friends felt awful enough for dragging you there, where you were clearly ill, to drive you home?
nonsensical 26
Maybe they did but they had to wait til OP took a break from exploding out of both ends...
species4872 20
Self inflicted I'm afraid, next time listen to your body
InfiniteSunshine 32
A crowded place with loud music, drugs, and drinking, your friends thought this would be a good place to drag a sick person? Cause alcohol and dancing always help with illnesses. You do need to stand up for yourself more, if you're sick, you're sick, tell anyone who pressures you to just go away, but your friends are not only idiots, but dicks. They should have cared enough to make sure you were ok, not drag you out to the last place a sick person should be.
tounces7 28
Perhaps friends are college freshmen....they're usually not known for being the most sensible.
TheEpicKitten 20
Hey, at least it's not your bathroom
drayloon 50
I don't think "letting it all out at the club" is a phrase meant to be taken that literally...
simsgirlgem 25
Your friend is an asshole
brianna1494 27
Why? OP is the one who went out. If they didn't want to go out they shouldn't have gone out.