Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Today, my dad had a seizure just after taking his anti-seizure medicine and having been seizure-free for two and a half months. Did I mention I was pooping while my poor dad was having this? I ran out with my pants around my ankles, due to my stepmom flipping out, screaming at me to find the phone (which she found). FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
best username
riplikethat 0
"I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned... blah blah blah" No shit.
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Comments (92)
JUDASKISS23 0
...you're stupid.
SS_Anon 0
i have so many ydi possibilities but it still doesn't match up to what you just experienced so FYL
Spankalicious 5
Lol funnii
cru1972 2
Didn't you learn ANYTHING in school? No running in the halls!!
phatdaddy62 23
Sick - yes! Disgusting - yes! Hilarious - Absolutely yes!!! FML - not so much. If this is the worse thing that ever happens to you, consider yourself lucky! And keep laughing about it!!
Zichi 0
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet you had fun trying to wash that off
genius_man16 1
now, correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure you don't scream if you're having a heart attack.
Hardrocknerd 0
Consider yourself corrected. :-) My stepdad had a heartattack, my mom told us that he woke her by coming in to the bedroom screaming. Don't know how loud it was though.
kmfyr 0
FYL for slipping in poo. But... I found your username hilarious.
zolltf 4
love your username xD
rasberryicedtea 0
I had to re read ur fml cause I thought u said ur dad was screaming cause the dogs were eating his diareah woops (: