Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Today, my dad had a seizure just after taking his anti-seizure medicine and having been seizure-free for two and a half months. Did I mention I was pooping while my poor dad was having this? I ran out with my pants around my ankles, due to my stepmom flipping out, screaming at me to find the phone (which she found). FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
best username
riplikethat 0
"I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned... blah blah blah" No shit.
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Comments (92)
canucksrule88 0
NASTY!!
theDAVIS 0
this is almost an exact replica of the fml i submitted earlier today which was turned down....wtf
sublime93 0
Someone probably saw it, it got denied because something was wrong with it, the person corrected it and submitted it as their own. Bitches do that.
TocItalia 0
oh Really? because this actually happened to me this morning. I had to clean up all that shit before work and then shower and throw my clothes away.
theDAVIS 0
ya its an exact replica except she added her dad in it, **** my life people are copying my fml
cucumberfabulous 7
But when you submit an FML doesn't it take more than a day to go through the voting process ?? Dunnnnoooo......
xXlifesucksmtime 0
i find that highly discusting
bobby222 0
YDI for being jewish.
Intoxicunt 6
Same here, #36. Hey, #28, fail troll is fail.
ElliexMarie 0
Oh , grossss. Thanks. Now I know never to go on FML while eating a brownie.
Intoxicunt 6
Hahaha. When guys compete, I win. mistercoffee...your move. plexico has offered the sought after teabagging privilege.
Intoxicunt 6
Reminds me of the time I spent the night at my friend's house. =/
plexico 4
Are you saying that the future of the eugenically-designed race of master jesters comes down to a ******* LendingTree.com commercial?
Intoxicunt 6
Yes. And no. I'm glad you got the reference, though. Don't worry, I'm going to have your babies no matter who else wants in. The future of the online jesters is safe. Your butt hole, on the other hand...
riplikethat 0
Dropped as a child eh?