Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
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Top comments
PULS3_fml 0
sounds like a shitty situation
perdix 31
A Torpedo of Diarrhea. . . that sounds like a dog toy that didn't really catch on.
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Comments (118)
PULS3_fml 0
sounds like a shitty situation
gab_metal 3
..unless you're into that sort of thing.
Aerdna87 0
haha! naled that one
benito_fml 0
better start cleaning
oboewhore_xD 6
5, I am. ;) Meet me in room 201 at the Days Inn in Orlando, FL. Twenty minutes.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
You ain't nothin but a hound dog Shittin all the time. You ain't nothin but a hound dog Shittin all the time. Well, you aint never caught a rabbit And you ain't no friend of mine.
shhhh_x0 0
you know.. sometimes dogs eat their own poo.
pwincessa23 1
epic pic. & do they really eat it!!????? eww!
shhhh_x0 0
yes. my dog does, saves me from cleaning. just kidding !
Mylifeskool 0
LOL
jakii_ 0
haha my aunt's dog drinks from the toilet. she's disuisted by it but it's cleaner thab the crap she feeds them
jakii_ 0
disguisted* than* i need to go back to elementary school >.<
EffinAhole 0
17 lame
EffinAhole 0
Ummm 55 its disgusted
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Disguisting: 1. (n) breaking up with one's Jersey Shore SO for being a dirty ***** [pron. DIS-gwe-sting] 2 (adj) a description for the sensation one feels upon discovering his date's "Sexy Cat" Halloween costume has cleverly utilized Spanks and a corset to hide the real horror show underneath [pron. dis-GUYS-ting, syn. "trick", ant. "treat"]
catatonicsleep 17
dogs only eat poo if they are malnourished
EffinAhole 0
Ha! 76 win
Dragons_corner 6
83 tell that to my dog that eats his shit that's feed twice a day 1 of dog food and 1 of people food. he is fit but he eats it not alot just enough to know he eats it and still does which is creepy.
thatxgirlxthere 0
this joke has seriously gotten really old.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
89: I hope you're referring to the shit puns and not my ridiculous wordplay, or I'll be a sad tomato. :[
sheribb 5
your poor bloody dog! :( you need to get him to the vets !!
blankaex 0
1, shut up. All the FMLs related even in the slightest to shit have to have an idiot try to make that stupid pun, thinking they're so smart. Today, a bird pooped on me. FML Idiot commenter: shitty situation. Today, I crapped my pants. Idiot commenter: shitty situation. Don't think you're smart because you copied one of the most stupid and overused puns in history. Think of your own, make a proper comment or don't comment at all. And also, I believe torpedos travel through water. Missiles are air projectiles. So it should be missile, not torpedo.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Jane, your #76 is a win. I giggled IRL.
Freeze_fml 17
Definition 2.
woofis 0
win 76.
shocky19 0
LOL at 1
randomchickkk 0
haha I agree
Freeze_fml 17
Holy shit.
jjames7543 13
^XD
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
That's what happens when you give Jesus a taste of authentic poverty-enriched Indian food.
TheNewGuy03 29
your comment is the shit. |the kid|
s2kman 0
lmfaoo..that's what I thought ;)
robnunzi 0
that's just ****** up
Gfrigo 1
lovin the R6 bro. looks good..
robnunzi 0
thanks man it's my baby
YANKSFAN4EVER 0
it happens.
FaberDriveLuv 5
Ew...and you probably have to clean it up too ._.
xXMudkipNoobXx 7
no SHIT sherlock
TashaLenaKitty 0
Hahaha #1 Awwww, poor dog! That is really shitty though OP
angelo8320 0
hahahaha this one made me laugh
sam_08_fml 0
Manda_Goes_Rawrr 0
bless this mess?
kellyc007 0
why would you bless it...its friggin dirreha.."o yea lemme put a little holy water on this shitt maybe it wont be so shitty" HA.