Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

To show you my love

Today, after waiting 3 weeks so she wouldn't be too stressed after being shipped, I was finally able to handle my snake for the first time. As I went to pick her up, I noticed she's about to shed and so is temporarily super stressed by any movement nearby, let alone contact. Here's to another week of waiting. FML

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

Help out or get out

Today, I had an very long day at work. I also had to take my daughter to the dentist and ballet class. Later, my 3 year-old son was having a diarrhoea, needing care, yet I pulled myself up, cooked, fed, read, cleaned the whole house except the kids' bedroom. My brother-in-law came, looked only at that and judged me horribly. FML