Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Today, after waiting 3 weeks so she wouldn't be too stressed after being shipped, I was finally able to handle my snake for the first time. As I went to pick her up, I noticed she's about to shed and so is temporarily super stressed by any movement nearby, let alone contact. Here's to another week of waiting. FML
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I had an very long day at work. I also had to take my daughter to the dentist and ballet class. Later, my 3 year-old son was having a diarrhoea, needing care, yet I pulled myself up, cooked, fed, read, cleaned the whole house except the kids' bedroom. My brother-in-law came, looked only at that and judged me horribly. FML
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Top comments
rnarshmallow 21
A clean python is a happy python! It's good to see your daughter has taught her pet about hygiene.
littleking94 14
Yeah I don't think I would argue with the python either.
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Comments (66)
siggy_mcsigx 22
The python was taking a bath or getting a bath? xD
K_kanaka 26
Well...not something I would hear everyday.
flyingmind_fml 17
get rid of them both
peacheso 31
Your mind is really flying. Get rid of her daughter because…???
blackonblight 33
Oh, you're in Australia. That explains so much.
smokecloud_ 37
No, she's from Australia so she should be used to worse and not worried about a nonvenomous cutie pie python.
ToxicTyrael 26
There are people who know the difference between poisenous und venomous!
kingnothing123x 11
A clean Is a nice Python
jezka374 15
Share the shower with it and save water! Waste not want not!
allforfun 23
Sure, just drape it over your shoulders :)
sherry_berryxoxo 17
You are a fantastic parent. First, you're very patient. Second, you're awesome enough to let your daughter have a pet python!
rabid_otaku 29
I find a python taking a bath extremely adorable.
tranced_ 45
hey it could've been a unicorn! which would have been nice though :/
writerchic85 26
For those who don't know, you have to regularly soak reptiles so they shed their skin properly and sometimes to help them poop. I bathe my reptiles in the tub all the time lol.
_Lenah_ 20
That is false. Reptiles don't NEED bathing. My two pythons shed and poop just fine without bathing. In fact, bathing them all the time can have a negative effect on their shed. You don't want to destroy the natural oils occurring under their skin that build up and help them shed. Misting them with a little water when they're in shed is good and all, but full-on regular bathing is a definite no-no. The only time my pythons get a bath is if they've done a really stinky shit and need a little clean up.
WhatHappenedToIt 22
I take it you also have multiple soaking ponds in their tanks? My small gecko has two in his tank to help him shed because he's from Australia and if he doesn't have enough moisture he can get a blocked plug or sometimes his penis even gets stuck outside his body (vet recommended water based lubed to avoid takin him to the vet for it)
rambo95 8
I have 4 pythons and I've never had to soak them but I do mist them daily to keep their humidity up where it needs to be. I also have a bearded dragon and leapard gecko. gecko will soak in his water dish. and I only mist my dragon when he is shedding since he doesn't require high humidity. but I have seen and heard of many ppl soaking their snakes once a month in the bathtub.
joshi42 16
Reptile soaking thread is not something you see on FML every day.
writerchic85 26
Okay so not everyone soaks their reptiles. I soak mine about once a month and I have no issues with any of them. Some reptiles have more trouble shedding than others. My tegu sometimes gets skin stick on her toes so the soaking helps. All of mine get misted and have ponds. It's not false. It's a different way of doing things.
Calingaladha 21
There is a specific medication you can bathe reptiles in to help them she'd if they have trouble with retaining skin. It's this oily stuff you add to water. So, it's not so far fetched.