Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Today, after waiting 3 weeks so she wouldn't be too stressed after being shipped, I was finally able to handle my snake for the first time. As I went to pick her up, I noticed she's about to shed and so is temporarily super stressed by any movement nearby, let alone contact. Here's to another week of waiting. FML
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I had an very long day at work. I also had to take my daughter to the dentist and ballet class. Later, my 3 year-old son was having a diarrhoea, needing care, yet I pulled myself up, cooked, fed, read, cleaned the whole house except the kids' bedroom. My brother-in-law came, looked only at that and judged me horribly. FML
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Top comments
rnarshmallow 21
A clean python is a happy python! It's good to see your daughter has taught her pet about hygiene.
littleking94 14
Yeah I don't think I would argue with the python either.
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Comments (66)
soverybored 6
That's something you don't hear every day :o
brownapple 22
Must have been a long bath.
teentee401 37
*ba dum tss*
psychopolarbear 28
OP is in Australia, though. Who knows how often large and sometimes aggressive carnivorous pets decide to use the family shower?
madeline9322 17
Well it was likely only a children's Python, because they're Australian and Australians can only have native reptiles... So it'd be a pretty small lil thing.
rnarshmallow 21
A clean python is a happy python! It's good to see your daughter has taught her pet about hygiene.
BadApple88 29
Now this is something i have to see. Youtube here i come lol
Burton_Forever 23
gotta keep that python clean! or the kitties won't want to play!
PandaSmile 24
That's an instance where I would be happy to wait rather than share
LiquidFantasy 19
Why? Pythons aren't poisonous..
gichikku 14
#20, I bet they're happy to know it's ok for them to bite the Python now, lol.
cristy91 33
I wouldn't want to share it because reptiles will sometimes poop when in a warm bath. Sorry OP, I hope you rinsed the shower well!
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Venomous, #20. The word you wanted was venomous, not posionus. I don't think they want to eat the python.
casey_ct 10
well umm...at least the snake's clean?
Cads1 24
Turn it into a nice pair of shoes.
heartofhannah 28
It's her daughters pet, that's just rude!
VonBlitzkrieg 27
what the hell is wrong with you? Do you really not have the mental capacity to understand that he's joking?
MikaykayUnicorn 36
#59, it's a disgusting joke. If this thread was about a dog and someone commented the same thing about the dog, would you brush it off as an O.K. joke? Probably not.
hellnosucka 27
can you give me the name of the shampoo the python uses?
DoomedGemini 38
Come on, Voldemort has gorgeous hair!
littleking94 14
Yeah I don't think I would argue with the python either.
Darkness_Hate 29
At least the snake is not singing ''Trust in Me" so it's ok.
joshi42 16
I can't believe it's only 10 of us left, who remember this.
Schala360 27
dominace established