Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML
Today, I took my 17 year-old dog, who had been my best friend my entire life right from when I was born, to be euthanised. I had booked in advance. The vet ambled in all spritely and cheerfully asked, "Just here for a checkup, aye?" FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I had to put my 12 year-old dog down because he had dementia. I was told I got to lay on the floor with him, and say when I was ready. The vet brought my dog out on a stretcher, had the vet tech put him in a choke-hold, and administered the drugs before I could speak. Now, I have PTSD and she has to undergo sensitivity training. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML
Today, my dog of 10 years died suddenly. My husband’s response? “At least you don’t have to buy dog food anymore." FML
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Top comments
irollup 4
This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.
gunmania0 12
That was a good hard metaphor.
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Comments (282)
mini_mouth22 0
Wow my friend! You are quit descriptive. You should have added that it was without lube hahaha
A100893 30
That's depressing, but I commend you for the descriptive and creative FML.
sublime420 11
I read too fast at first and somehow thought that putting the dog down involved shoving something up the dogs ass..
Chelgleek 7
OUCH! That sucks, but nice wording. : )
chosha_fml 27
#41 Really? Because I could feel my sympathy draining away with each ridiculous, melodramatic exaggeration.
JPEG7 12
your awesome :D
Isoldael 27
Then again, having to put your dog to sleep can be really awful. Having something like that happen on such a day must even add a little to that. Can't say I like the way OP worded the FML, but wouldn't call it exaggerated either.
vbmg152 19
Ouch! I'm sorry! I know how you feel, I love my babies!
stevenmx86 8
Nobody ever deserves to lose their friend but you're really close after writing that garbage about getting ass raped.. Would have been short and to the point if you had just said "Today I had to get my dog put to sleep. It's national dog day. FML" Instead you unnecessarily rambled on about nothing...
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
He deserves to have his dog put down because you can't appreciate his creative and personal way of describing his sorrow? You could've just said that you don't care for the mental imagery. Or rather, what it seems to be, in your case, a bad memory.
niwra 0
All of your English teachers hated you didn't they? Grow some imagination.
Capt_Awesome137 0
Is this about a dog or your sexual experience last night??
SooShee 0
Wow, dramatic or what!
Capt_Awesome137 0
Oops. Wrong post.
Majstr 23
Cats are better.
Capt_Awesome137 0
On the contrary. Dogs are better.