Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML
Today, I took my 17 year-old dog, who had been my best friend my entire life right from when I was born, to be euthanised. I had booked in advance. The vet ambled in all spritely and cheerfully asked, "Just here for a checkup, aye?" FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I had to put my 12 year-old dog down because he had dementia. I was told I got to lay on the floor with him, and say when I was ready. The vet brought my dog out on a stretcher, had the vet tech put him in a choke-hold, and administered the drugs before I could speak. Now, I have PTSD and she has to undergo sensitivity training. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML
Today, my dog of 10 years died suddenly. My husband’s response? “At least you don’t have to buy dog food anymore." FML
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Top comments
irollup 4
This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.
gunmania0 12
That was a good hard metaphor.
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Comments (282)
khaya 9
Dog rape affects one in every two idiots.
asia3pea90 13
.... what the ****.
perdix 31
There really would be no good time right now to do it -- these are the Dog Days of Summer. If you need to put your dog down, man up and do it. The poor animal is suffering and needs you to end the pain. I've had to put two dogs down and as sad as it was, I knew if was the best thing I could do for my little friend.
TheLastChild 8
I agree one hundred percent. If an animal is in pain and suffering, you can't think about yourself, and how much you'll miss them, but about what's best for them. Having to do the right thing sucks, but it's part of life.
TheLastChild 8
I can almost feel the irony being shoved up OPs ass. Ouch.
stupidpollock 4
I'm sorry for your loss
rondog9687 6
omg i totally had to do the same thing
iloveshh23 2
nice metaphor. I'm very impressed. but I'm really sorry about ur doggy.
butterz1839 3
You've got a weird way with words
IdioticSmiles 1
Wow..... words can't explain how terrible that is :'(
jmanwade 0
you OP, are a poet