Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML
Today, I took my 17 year-old dog, who had been my best friend my entire life right from when I was born, to be euthanised. I had booked in advance. The vet ambled in all spritely and cheerfully asked, "Just here for a checkup, aye?" FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I had to put my 12 year-old dog down because he had dementia. I was told I got to lay on the floor with him, and say when I was ready. The vet brought my dog out on a stretcher, had the vet tech put him in a choke-hold, and administered the drugs before I could speak. Now, I have PTSD and she has to undergo sensitivity training. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML
Today, my dog of 10 years died suddenly. My husband’s response? “At least you don’t have to buy dog food anymore." FML
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Top comments
irollup 4
This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.
gunmania0 12
That was a good hard metaphor.
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Comments (282)
randelynn 0
The wording on this fml is very interesting.
lovelife9 12
Aw I'm sorry for your dog! I know what it's like. My dog had to be put down in December. Feel better.
Devyn333 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Couldn't you just have said: "Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. It's National Dog Day. FML" Really? Unnecessary sentence in the middle.
sassyangel24 0
No, they couldn't. Their choice of words described the way they felt.
chaoticxxxmess 3
Imagery is how you make a story interesting 26.
HarleyCycle 0
Don't hate.
xbox4life 0
u sound like my old very cold hearted friend... shame on you
lidsthesquid 4
Op's only creating the story... It's just an fml......
cash_monkey72 9
Really? Unnecessary comment.
dmeloccaro 5
It probably wouldn't have been as likely to get posted if it were worded like that. Then it would have been lame and boring, the sentence in the middle is what made it interesting. Douche.
ripjohnlennon 5
Someone needs to get laid quick!!
FFPulley 9
OP is a modern day wordsmith. Appreciate that fact.
acazz 0
You limited knowledge of the English language is unnecessary
sleepRX 16
144-how dare you! She's devoted herself to the convent. Forgive him, Sister.
butterybiscuit 6
Heartless douche. This guys dog just had to be put down and all you care about is how his writing is? Your a horrible person.
xcarxcrashx 9
Seriously 26, one of the best worded fmls ever and you want to make it just like everything else. Kids these days....
niwra 0
This may be the most articulate and imaginative FML ever written and you have the audacity to criticize the beautiful phrasing? Your ignorance is unnecessary.
yadisingh 5
You obviously did not realize that everyone, except for you, liked the way it was worded. So, go away. And die.
poppinblue 9
I'm sorry, but #26, you just ruined the beauty of OP's imagery by that sentence. You clearly have no appreciation for the art of writing.-.-
HomeAl0ne 20
"Today, I walked down the street looking desperately for a toilet. It's National Turtle Day. FML" See, that needs a middle sentence too.
sciencekidster1 8
Sorry for your loss. I gained the sight of irony sliding up your ass though.
xxfranciexx 9
30- i think 24 means analogy is a dirty word because ANALogy. make sense now? xD
xcarxcrashx 9
34, ...just no.
dogpup4 23
How the heck does he deserve this?
drakeallday 3
:( im sorry. i didnt know there was a national dog day. thats the worst timing.
ndhin831 2
at least you still have your sense of humor
chaoticxxxmess 3
Nice imagery OP.
crystalluv15 0
sorry this is really irrelevant but what does OP stand for ?
Sirin_fml 47
It stands for Oneiric Poodle. Always happy to help.
TheComputerGuy96 16
No. Original Poster.
Lei_Aili 18
Can't tell if trolling, or just stupid...
vbmg152 19
If I'm not mistaken OP is original poster!
sariannacanna 6
Original poster...
Shrike 24
'original poster'? Nah, it stands for '******* google it instead of wasting everyones time'
Sydnayy 4
40- LOLOL
EnEl_Infierno 15
*facepalm* read the rules, it tells you their. That's what their, their for.
nuhuh 1
You can't vote down FML staff? Dude! Not that anyone would want to *hides*
illmatic2 16
Original Poster? Wow what a dumbass. It stands for Orangoutang Pussy.
itsmichelle97 0
What's that ?
FFPulley 9
OWNED!!!! I'm still freakin laughing!!
woodrow68oo 2
I hate to be "that guy," but WTF is orangoutang? You mean Orangutan? I'm surprised my iPhone didn't auto-correct it. I guess it was THAT off :P
illmatic2 16
Yeah sorry, dude, that's what I meant. My iPod corrected it to that for some reason. Should've looked it up first.
woodrow68oo 2
lol, nice... Funny how my auto-correct only works when I don't want it to. Stupid technology :)
cutiepie343 7
36 - Everybody else is trollin' OP stands for Orange Poop
Fapootles 0
Haha LOL