Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML
Today, I took my 17 year-old dog, who had been my best friend my entire life right from when I was born, to be euthanised. I had booked in advance. The vet ambled in all spritely and cheerfully asked, "Just here for a checkup, aye?" FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I had to put my 12 year-old dog down because he had dementia. I was told I got to lay on the floor with him, and say when I was ready. The vet brought my dog out on a stretcher, had the vet tech put him in a choke-hold, and administered the drugs before I could speak. Now, I have PTSD and she has to undergo sensitivity training. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML
Today, my dog of 10 years died suddenly. My husband’s response? “At least you don’t have to buy dog food anymore." FML
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Top comments
irollup 4
This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.
gunmania0 12
That was a good hard metaphor.
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Comments (282)
CrAzYyEt 8
That was painfully graphic.
my_usagi 0
I absolutely love this fml. Very well written.
Synyster430 0
How did FML allow this???
Serafie 0
Sorry about that, man :( The metaphor was weird as hell tho, not gonna lie.
yaknowiverse 0
my sorry about your dog :(
abouttofly 12
I can't stand all the people here loving the analogy. Please consider how insensitive it must be to people who have been raped.
lightburns 10
I have no time for people who use the idiom "I can't stand". Please consider how insensitive it must be to people who are wheelchair-bound.
dmeloccaro 5
Wheelchair bound. Lmao this is hilarious.
niwra 0
All my life I have dreamed of being this clever. Nice rebuttal to an annoyingly unnecessary comment.
abouttofly 12
If my comment was unnecessary, there wouldn't be a bunch of people on here laughing at rape jokes. As for my usage of "I can't stand", I apologize for any harm this phrasing may have caused. It's clear that you weren't actually bothered by the usage and are just mocking me, but your mockery fails because I am actually concerned about my usage of language and will try to change if I find out that I am offending people.
LittlestOne13 6
Ew that's a nasty metaphor O.o
InsanePPG 25
7 years ago I had to put my pet rabbit to sleep 2 days before Easter, so I feel your pain there. I'm really sorry about your dog, but I'm sure he had a great life.
paradiseisland01 0
I'm so terribly sorry , I wish I was there with you so I could give you the biggest hug!
LilysTillie 7
Definitely sad to put your dog down :( You are showing you really care about your dog by making that difficult decision. Sorry for your loss, OP.