Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and got fired for being late for work. My husband had changed my alarm to go off at 8:00PM instead of 8:00AM all because apparently, I was suspected of “conspiracy to cheat” by liking a male friend’s selfie on Instagram. FML
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
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Top comments
brocode86 0
does he have reason to believe you are cheating?
perdix 31
He's just stalling so he can get rid of his girlfriend before you get home. It's usually guilty people who are the most suspicious of their spouses.
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Comments (139)
j3ebrules 13
and you are still with him because...?
talkstoomuch 8
Wow, insecure much?
PYLrulz 17
Who says you aren't blowing the boss before the camera comes on to clock out?!? But honestly, that sucks. Dump his ass. At the least, he's covering for his cheating. At worst, he's controlling, and it will only get worse
YaJustMe 2
Do you really want a lifetime of catering to his insecurity?
blackman100 20
better safe than sorry
Rhombuss 0
Nothing to hide then no problem ~
puppy23 3
At first I read this as punching yourself! But, to be blunt, even making a video doesn't prove anything. You could still be cheating (not saying you are) You deserve better, if you really love him you should talk to him about his trust issues.
lizard399 0
Say you want a video of him punching out too. It's only fair if he's going to make shit difficult, give him a taste of his own medicine. If he doesn't realize how pointless it is (given you're not cheating) then point it out to him.
spdcrz 2
What I don't understand is why you had to stay late? Do you usually leave early to cheat?
Jazzalyn 10
Why didn't you just refuse? If he can't trust your word, then, on the assumption that you haven't cheated, he's got both trust and security issues.