Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and got fired for being late for work. My husband had changed my alarm to go off at 8:00PM instead of 8:00AM all because apparently, I was suspected of “conspiracy to cheat” by liking a male friend’s selfie on Instagram. FML
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
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Top comments
brocode86 0
does he have reason to believe you are cheating?
perdix 31
He's just stalling so he can get rid of his girlfriend before you get home. It's usually guilty people who are the most suspicious of their spouses.
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Comments (139)
neilsc 8
maybe he just wanted to see ;)
mojo87 14
Surely, there were signs before OP got married that he was so suspicious. So unless, OP has cheated on him before and that's why he's suddenly suspicious... EIther way, OP deserves it.
paradiseisland01 0
He must have a good reason why he don't trust you !
mojo87 14
I'm guessing you're speaking from experience...?
daftPunKt 4
insecure, jealous freak
failsammich 0
well thats what you record yourself being frogged by the neighbor then flip off the camera
emilaay123 0
So did I for a minute!
ispyry 0
Someones insecure..
DaveMatthewsBand 4
If it really annoys you then just do the same to him.
Phendraana 0
my ex used to make me do stuff like this. he didn't trust me either, but he had no reason not to, he was just a psychotic, abusive asshole who eventually put his hands on me. OP, if you haven't given him any reason to act like this, GET OUT NOW.
knockoutmouse 8
Same here, 123. And one time the illiterate ******* flipped out and said I was lying to him about being at work....when I actually was at work, because he'd misread the copy of my schedule he'd made me give him.
Istalkrexgar2000_fml 0
I'm not even going to lie. That's something I would do, but I have a legit reason to suspect shit.