Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML
Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML
Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML
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Top comments
botanistjessica 24
I think I'd have stopped helping her after the first time. And definitely by the second!
peve3 12
Fool you once, shame on her. Fool you twice, shame on you. Anything after two is just taking advantage of you.
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Comments (66)
botanistjessica 24
I think I'd have stopped helping her after the first time. And definitely by the second!
jerzjay 17
Seriously though! No good deed lol
Rallred32 20
That was a BALLSy move!
smokecloud_ 37
Silly crazy old ladies.. what will they do next? Sorry about your balls, OP.
arandomusernameaa 20
they ain't balls anymore...
Aligator67 12
I respect the elderly, but if someone does something multiple times in a row then it must be on purpose. I would of stopped helping her the third time and walked away.
Mynameislinh 24
would have*
GiveThemNoise 7
Ha, someone thumbs downed you 18 because they're in denial! I think people get confused by "would've". Those poor, unfortunate souls.
Welshite 40
In pain, in need This one longing to be thinner That one wants to get the girl And do I help them? Yes, indeed.
smokecloud_ 37
Or, more likely, they were thumbed down for being an insufferable grammar nazi. It's the internet, people.
Axipiter 24
No excuses!
mattdaviess 6
One does not simply "walk away" after getting hit in the balls multiple times.
Aligator67 12
#18, Alright, fine. Correct me for one minor mistake. Down vote me just because I did one small typo. That's cool. Real mature to do so. Out of all the people on this app.. I'm the one being corrected? Alright. Fine by me
AngelSpit 18
Cry me a river, build me a bridge and get the ***** over it.
peve3 12
Fool you once, shame on her. Fool you twice, shame on you. Anything after two is just taking advantage of you.
chutney_02 22
And crazy FML old lady strikes again
ChristianH39 30
What if it's really the same old lady in all of these fmls?
ruckfules85 34
Screw that. I'd quit after one hit. But good on you dude.
MattAttack12 10
Grandma strikes again
RubenTheGreek 8
Break her cane.
applebramble 22
That's a little too harsh...
dachayke 16
A lot too harsh.
KillSwitch96 18
You continued helping an old lady even after she hit you in the balls with a cane not just once, but three times? Anyone who says chivalry is dead has obviously never met you, OP!
jazzy_123 20
23, speak for yourself! I've met plenty of nice guys who open doors for me out of kindness and not because they're trying to get in my pants, or anything like that.
Lord_Cornwallis 5
No good deed goes unpunished.