Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s birthday party. I slipped and fell onto the table of presents, knocking each one of them over, pulling a muscle in the process. My friend bitched me out for not being careful and “ruining” his presents. I got kicked out. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
spiderman0606 0
Why are you complaining about this? It's not like any of this was out of your control. You brought it upon yourself for drinking too much. You couldve not ruined your friends birthday by stopping the fight and leaving it for another time.
arghhhhhhh 0
YDI!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
spiderman0606 0
Why are you complaining about this? It's not like any of this was out of your control. You brought it upon yourself for drinking too much. You couldve not ruined your friends birthday by stopping the fight and leaving it for another time.
VanessaVander 2
wow ydi
Monikabug 9
Could not agree with #1 more. In fact, as a courtesy to your flatmate, you should move out without them asking you too.
Monikabug 9
Before anyone else asks: A flatmate = A roommate. glad I could clear that up. :)
ipwnallmen 10
wow. just wow.
ReyEr9412 0
Well you should stop complaining on here and start looking now shouldn't you?
CharliePoops 0
YDI, this is why i don't drink, smoke trees.
Shitz_N_Gigglez 0
I couldn't agree more with #1. You deserve all of it for getting shit-faced and ruining a party. Honestly, people like you, who ruin everything when they're near alcohol, need to stop drinking. Try knitting fluffy sweaters. しんで しまえ。
CloudN9N3 0
this is fake, if you were that drunk no way could you have written this fml on the same day
Kockdiesel 0
YDI for being a terrible drunk. practice makes perfect.
arghhhhhhh 0
YDI!
AndreaHaha 0
damn; Well that's life for you.
Bugatti_Veyron 1
ydi for having internal organs.
Ajjas013 6
Don't you have some of those Bugatti? Or are they just car parts?
Ajjas013 6
He does have one. Except it's in a frame. On his wall. Next to his bed. In his mom's basement.
Bugatti_Veyron 1
ydi for looking like a freak in your profile pic!
pajamurao 0
@12- no. he doesn't wish he had a bugatti veyron, he IS a bugatti veyron (clearly shown in his profile pic).
kkamp516 10
this made me lol.
Bugatti_Veyron 1
@20 ydi for letting the man get you down!
WhatANoob 0
I thought you guys were replying to the internal organs. so I thought penis. I'm confused
bezach 0
i don't got any I have dairy...you got milk?
crzyjkrsd 0
I bet it was one hell of a party though.
AJG390 0
Sorry, but you deserve it. Not the falling down the stairs part.. That part sucks. But drinking so much that you ruined your friend's outfit and the fight.. Those are both your fault.
Psychs7 11
You fail, learn to hold your liquor or you could wake up in a cell next time
lostfaithinpppl 19
Don't drink if you can't handle the liquor. YDI!
woofis 0
you are a retard
cuntwaffle 0
your a fat stinky drunk
SerenaChaos805 0
whats a flatmate
Psychs7 11
A person that shares the flat you live in, are you serious?
Monikabug 9
A flat is like an apartment. A flatmate = A roommate.
ImaginaryFoe 1
So much for your preemptive definition, Monika. Keep up the good work! (But don't people even skim through the comments first?)
a_borshunist 0
Someone who ***** children and dead people AKA you. Now STFU and GTFO my /b/.
cryssycakesx3 23
judging by the stupid face, she is serious...