Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Today, I started packing up the flat I have been renting. As I took a picture off the wall I also ripped half the wallpaper. That's my deposit gone. FML
Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML
Today, my flat has turned into a pigsty. My flatmate decided to make the lounge his bedroom and it looks like a bomb has hit it. I haven’t been able to sleep, as he doesn’t sleep at night and talks to friends all night long or plays loud music. FML
Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML
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Top comments
yamatelle 19
Here are your options for payback: 1. After using the restroom, instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, use the towel he dries off with after shower. 2. Invite your weed-smoking-friends over and let them use his bass clarinet as a bong, if he has one. 3. Cut a hole in the mitten he uses to take food out of the oven. 4. Make the sink the appropriate place to wash your junk. 5. Have casual conversations about your bowel movements and how you name them. 6. My personal favourite: Use his deodorant in your junk in order to prevent ingrown hair. It's your choice. Choose wisely.
SwaggerMelon 6
That's unfortunate.
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Comments (51)
UMad_Bro 3
this comment will get dislikes.
SwaggerMelon 6
That's unfortunate.
Goldenchest 14
Indubitably.
ItsTheKing 10
Undoubtedly.
FYLDeep 26
Entirely.
Keyman1212 14
Indescribably.
leadman1989 16
Consummately.
HeavyScout 0
Inconceivably.
EvilPotato 15
C-C-Combo breaker
StoryOfTheYear 15
**** overused combo breakers. Indoobietibly.
GrammaticalNazi 2
Irrevocably.
EpicPear 0
Inception
EvilPotato 15
*Stares at the comments with a confused face*
Aim4thebullseye 4
Unexplainably
jillianmathers12 13
I would make them pay! If you weren't there you should be held responsible!
HowAreYouToday 34
Make them pay. Make them all pay!!!
Daralea 21
Hopefully it says somewhere in your lease that you weren't moving in until this week and are therefore not liable to pay for damages incurred before this date. Else, sure you can try to get them to pay for it, but you are still legally responsible :S which sucks. Flatmates can really screw you over if they want.
Prolusive 5
Wow thar's incredibly inconsiderate of them. Try and make them pay for it. And have fun living with that jerk :)
Freeze_fml 17
Take the expense out of their belongings.
leadsails320 0
take a dump in their pillow.
nitram0606 0
Or, shit on their faces during the night.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Ha. Dog-gone good idea sirrr.
slushpup9696 12
No need 24, they're probably shitfaced already.
leadman1989 16
That must of been one heluva party. You're in capable hands. If you play your cards right LOTS OF SEX! *nods head Very capable hands indeed.
perdix 31
Now, you are motivated to party your ass off and blow the whole damage deposit!
BIEBERSLAYER 10
It's gonna happen eventually anyway
upwardSpiral 4
Ouch... They should pay for the damages. Definatley
yamatelle 19
Here are your options for payback: 1. After using the restroom, instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, use the towel he dries off with after shower. 2. Invite your weed-smoking-friends over and let them use his bass clarinet as a bong, if he has one. 3. Cut a hole in the mitten he uses to take food out of the oven. 4. Make the sink the appropriate place to wash your junk. 5. Have casual conversations about your bowel movements and how you name them. 6. My personal favourite: Use his deodorant in your junk in order to prevent ingrown hair. It's your choice. Choose wisely.
FYLDeep 26
Why choose one when you could choose them all?
yamatelle 19
Excellent idea, and for the bonus, OP can "borrow" his roommate's belongings and never return them; Including his girlfriend.
HarveyMalone 0
Excellent suggestions. This is evidence of how useful FML can be as a source of guidance and inspiration. Who would have thought?
Yodelmeister 18
Awesome recap. I only caught about half of those; now I need to go find the others :)