Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML
Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
Today, I sliced my finger open on a blender while removing a sticker that said, “Sharp blade, remove carefully”. I wouldn’t have gone near the blade if it weren’t for the stupid warning sticker that needed to be removed to use it. FML
Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
Your milkshake does not bring all the boys to the yard.
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, but realize if you waste your vote on Kanye, it's really a vote for wet counter. This country cannot stand another 4 years of wet counter!
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Comments (7)
ahabsfan 17
Your milkshake does not bring all the boys to the yard.
RichardPencil 32
Wasting a tub of ice cream. Since the ballots are all mail-in, I'm expecting this to be a rigged election!
bloopaloop 27
I vote twice for the tub of ice cream. If you don’t vote for the ice cream, you ain’t an FMLer.
RichardPencil 32
If you rig it the right way, I'm ok with it😉
Marcella1016 32
Lmao ok you guys really made me laugh. But seriously I’m only voting if Kanye enters because I refuse to choose between a tub of ice cream and a wet counter.
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, but realize if you waste your vote on Kanye, it's really a vote for wet counter. This country cannot stand another 4 years of wet counter!
samomaha 17
D. All of the above.
jkjorn 18
Don't cry over spilled milk (shakes.) Spilled blood, on the other hand..
spinspinsugar 12
if you used a food processor with removable blades, ydi
Chazzster 32
For real - High, drunk, or just dumb?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
The worst part is definitely slicing your finger open. That sounds unbearably painful!