Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
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Top comments
Jghaugland 6
One time somebody threw up in my office and everyone just ******* exploded with vomit. I know the feeling.
Welshite 40
You should have told her The Ugly Barnacle story. She might have made the connection then. Or ask her what she had to eat. She might say "some roast beef, a chicken, a pizza...".
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Comments (84)
TheGriizlyBear 22
Well at least you got revenge?
SweetasCandy0609 28
she's probably the reason your son vomited in the first place, buy her some toothpaste and mouthwash and send it to her anonymously so that you don't have to get in distance of her foul breath and she doesn't know you sent it.
cakefete2 31
I feel sorry for the poor post man who has to have her sign for that delivery. Whatever you do, don't request delivery confirmation.
beaverteaser 16
dirty mouth? clean it up with orbits.
lolwhatthehellz 15
Some mouth wash sounds like it would be a nice gift to give as condolences to the vomit experiences she had to endure.
Spiral_Thoughts 19
Unfortunately, halitosis is not always "cured" with vigorous brushing. The mother could already be an avid brusher, but if the issue is in her throat, or elsewhere...if her diet is causing ketones to exhale out of her mouth, for example...That scent can travel!
Getty95 13
Damn OP, sorry you got bitched at...but at least you got a little unplanned revenge
farleytb42 11
If her kid does not throw up, that means he is immune to practically anything
lilypearl 11
I really hope you let her know !
91hayek 31
I think it will take more than a toothbrush and mouthwash to fix her breath. Has to be something medical.
cakefete2 31
Fine. We'll give her an iv drip of Colgate and Listerine.
asylumlane 23
I would suggest that both you and your son stay far away from that woman and her house.