Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same distance for everything. He thought that human miles were different than mouse miles, because they're smaller. He's 34. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend didn’t know what quotation marks are. He’s 34. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that the Earth is not flat. He didn’t believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a very thoughtful gift: A pair of woolen socks, hand-knitted by his mom. They were a size 43. Yes, that’s his size. I wear a 36. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML
Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML
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Top comments
BlackHawkSavior 28
34 mouse years or 34 human years?
Tripartita 45
Damn, so when that mouse was bragging to me about running several miles, he was talking about ACTUAL miles?! That IS impressive.
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Comments (113)
i_wuz_nver_here 31
I have no words...
Patriots21 14
You appear to have found some...
GreyJedi 10
I count four.
tranced_ 45
human words or mouse words?
mds9986 24
If you thought a little longer instead of trying for first comment you would have found some.
gobiteme2 34
What an idiot comes to mind.
pphead 5
I can kind of see where he's coming from..
NeatNit 33
Yeah. I mean, if you redefine 1 foot to be the approximate size of a mouse's foot, then redefine all the other units proportionally... Totally makes sense. On a completely unrelated note, I have never heard the term 'mouse mile' or any other animal's mile. Where the hell did that though even come from?
Senorangelo 10
It may be difficult to digest but.. There is no such thing as human and mouse miles.
gmian 34
36- And now I bet you'll tell me something like there's no difference between mouse pounds and human pounds.... pffff
Tiber_fml 12
I see what he's saying if mice measured things it would be different like monkey miles, dog miles, elephant miles or bird miles Is nautical miles the same as land miles? kinda like Europe uses the metric system and US doesn't
False_Stupidity 42
Nautical miles are slightly longer than regular miles, just so you know #45. About 1.15 miles in fact.
mudkipsan 19
I mean, our miles are roughly based on the Roman mile, which was meant to be 1,000 paces. I suppose a mouse mile would be 1,000 mouse paces. It might even be minimally useful, in that a (human) mile walk for a person is not much in terms of effort, but for a mouse it's an epic journey. That said, I'm not sure how one comes to the conclusion that this is an actual, practical, measurement. Like most FMLs, I'd love to have some context to this one.
runninggirl8 16
educate the man...
dideldoodles 17
Tell him you love him in mouse miles
The12thPaladin 8
Did you even attempt to make a logical comment?
Queen_bee1234 21
Small like his brain.
BlackHawkSavior 28
34 mouse years or 34 human years?
Bibblejomin 18
OP please respond. This information is imperative.
olpally 33
Please don't breed with him... Smh.
HumanitysFinest 15
He's a keeper! :3
dsmithds7 13
Run miles away.
dVwarfare 15
Mouse miles
spookyboy 20
Well I'm sure 3 mile feels waaaay longer to a mouse who's on foot
Talonshere 14
it's still 3 miles -.-
Mysterious_one 26
In human miles.. Yes.. But in the measurement unit for mice. It might differ habibi
spookyboy 20
I didn't say it isn't still 3 miles. I'm just saying if a turtle and a person had to walk 3 miles the human would finish faster. Both still did three miles just one would do it faster.
Lalala579121 28
But a mile is a measure of distance, so time doesn't matter at all.