Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML
Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
Unless you're also an asshole, I think your parents should know you guys well enough to know who actually did it..
Adam_Power58 16
Prick move from the brother that's abit far , I would keep telling my parents it was him so they will hopefully believe eventually, and get payback !!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (44)
soulreaper12296 28
Sorry OP, I'm sure you'll find a chance to get even with your brother.
LilMissCanadian 22
Rather than revenge, perhaps focusing on convincing his parents on who actually did it should be his motive.
soulreaper12296 28
Why not both? *cue spanish music*
UnidentifiedFun 37
Unless you're also an asshole, I think your parents should know you guys well enough to know who actually did it..
Danne696 14
Then again, parents making assumptions because it's "always" his brother would be pretty bad as well.
Alexandria79 22
parents generally blame number 1 and not younger siblings. I'd have thought my medic parents would have known it was my sister biting herself and crying saying it was me. they did not. my sister laughed and told them the truth 20 plus years later. their response? I probably deserved being punished anyway.
ChinchillaLady 27
Speak for yourself. I am the youngest and I got blamed for everything.
ChimeraThorne 19
Growing up, everything was my fault, because I was "older and should know better" even if I wasn't even around! My mothers reasoning was her 2 older brothers always caused trouble and she got blamed so it's always the older ones fault, never the younger. My sister, as a result, got away with murder, still does at almost 21!
whymustyou 4
Not always true. in my case, the younger (me) always got blamed first
JackFaire 27
Not necessarily. My drug addict brother made my high school years miserable I was almost always grounded for "doing drugs" and getting watched 24/7 by our folks because he convinced them I was either going to join a cult or do drugs so that they wouldn't notice the large amount of drugs he was doing.
Ninjahiga 27
I'm sure if you explain it she'll understand, unless you have a history of doing this stuff
Tripartita 45
Wow, a ***** for an ass and a **** for a face. That would be truly horrifying. She'd be up at all hours of the night trying to deal with her ass's promiscuity all the while unable to speak or see.
Mathalamus 25
He did it.
Death546 25
You don't say?
Mathalamus 25
Sorry, wanted to be Captain obvious. :P
FSGInsainity 15
there be a mutiny.
bella_nana347 23
Well is she a *****-ass ****-face?
Adam_Power58 16
Prick move from the brother that's abit far , I would keep telling my parents it was him so they will hopefully believe eventually, and get payback !!
tzemmy 25
Screenshot his browser history to get back at him
KatieJBabe 27
Why? to embarrass him for a watching ****? Sounds like such a horrible thing!!!
skippydoda 32
So is posting that his mother is a **** and letting OP take the blame
Cortezthe1st 23
Most people use private browsing for things they don't want others to know.
KatieJBabe 27
The point I'm trying to make is watching **** isn't embarrassing, most people watch it.
shavednipples 22
maybe letting other people know you watch **** isnt embarrassing, but having your parents know you watch **** (in their house !!) is a different story.
gobiteme2 34
People if you understood OP’s FML he was using HIS own laptop. So all he would prove with a screen shot of browser history would show that he did it.
schreibergx93 19
Sounds like you should rethink your falling asleep strategy. Never fall asleep with things logged in. FYL
gichikku 14
I would not find it believable that you would post that onto your mothers wall, unless I thought you were a complete idiot. Either your parents don't use logic or they think you are dumb enough to do it.