Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I, a 33 year-old guy, had to explain to my 27 year-old girlfriend that she does NOT pee out of her vaginal opening, but does in fact have a separate hole she pees from. She didn’t believe me. After showing her a diagram of the female anatomy online, she said, “Yeah well I don’t have one of those.” FML
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Top comments
bacon_is_life 12
Tell her it makes you become hysterical
serslybro 20
Lol! I hope you gave her an anatomy lesson!
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Comments (42)
happysmile987 24
Just double check with her that she actually knows what it is but if she does *sigh*
JazzHandsFML 28
I think op should have said "no I can no longer poop, I like kim jong un do not use the bathroom" just to screw with her
Miss_Whipped 43
Until OP starts singing Katy Perry's Firework and crying and shaming herself on international television.
yuggi1 11
Could had OP misinterpret what her friend was saying? Maybe the friend meant that because of the operation it would hurt to poop, but instead worded it wrong. Like, "Oh, you're getting a hysterectomy?! You know what that means! No more pooping for a while." That's also a possibility.
happysmile987 24
Guys, I was just joking!
bacon_is_life 12
Tell her it makes you become hysterical
serslybro 20
Lol! I hope you gave her an anatomy lesson!
Scryll 17
Some people just don't know the proper terms for certain types of operations, possibly she was unaware of what the operation involved?
Jennandco 25
Common mistake tbf No, my housekeeper had one of those and the recovery wasnt swift or comfortable, so I wish you all the best, recover quickly OP! Hope you're okay soon:)
irishmaiden78 23
Definitely not a fast recovery. It took me about a years to get over a lot of the pain, but I was out of work for 6 weeks because of complications ( I was severely anemic so I bled way too easily) but I don't regret it for a moment. :) The only thing I didn't like was as my hormones balanced my voice changed. It actually got deeper and I can't sing anymore. I have to retrain my vocal chords to the different pitch since they like to just stop working and nothing comes out. lol
MovieFreak1978 11
I had a Hysterectomy and recovered really well, pain went away after a couple of months best thing I ever did
piiiiiou_fml 12
I learned a new word today!
freya1998 23
good of you to add that she was female.. really useful, thanks
Lexipants 21
Women should knew what hysterectomies are. If her friend had been a dude, the confusion might have been understandable.
AviKerensky 17
She must have had a shitty education.
baba01_fml 17
She needs her tubes tied
Smellyy 19
But everyone knows girls don't poop...
Cads1 24
Is that why they always have shitty mood swings?
snarkytruth 37
That is scary. Unwanted pregnancy rates are high enough when sex Ed was being taught. They will sky rocket without proper knowledge.