Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I, a 33 year-old guy, had to explain to my 27 year-old girlfriend that she does NOT pee out of her vaginal opening, but does in fact have a separate hole she pees from. She didn’t believe me. After showing her a diagram of the female anatomy online, she said, “Yeah well I don’t have one of those.” FML
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Top comments
bacon_is_life 12
Tell her it makes you become hysterical
serslybro 20
Lol! I hope you gave her an anatomy lesson!
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Comments (42)
thejonac 21
well at least now she knows, better than some other person mocking her just bc she doesn't know something
abNormal62 23
A teachable moment, with a sincere and concerned friend Win/win
WhackTheJackal 22
Thats pretty hilarious, also I moderated this.
150493x 29
What do you want a medal?
notfat14 18
What does that mean ?
katydid91 31
OP is having her part or all of her uterus removed.
gracehi 33
So you're saying we don't poop out babies? Oh man. My whole world has been turned upside down.
AndyPurdy 31
what's hysterectomy? im too lazy to search it up
katydid91 31
That's when they remove part or all of a woman's uterus.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
^What they said. But essentially nothing to do with pooping.
Sazzles 17
Time to get out the textbooks.
TheBelt 19
They need to start teaching people these things.
steffi85 7
I had a hysterectomy myself back in December. I had to explain to a few people what it was. good luck with your surgery.
BlackPhoenixNite 14
Judging by your pen name on this I want to tell you I understand your pain. I'm a biology major too and it almost physically hurts when people are so ignorant to basic biological knowledge.