Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband threw an epic temper tantrum because I wouldn’t have sex with him. I recently suffered from a miscarriage and the thought of anything going on down there makes me uncomfortable. He eventually calmed down and said, "Fine, just don’t be surprised if I end up cheating." FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
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Top comments
Bree12345 15
Congrats on the newborns
Jasper1405 16
FYL, your husband should be ashamed of himself for putting sex over your welbeing.
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Comments (226)
profoundkisses 18
Congrats on your twins!
LastSong 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like someone should get a divorce!
Authoress14 15
You must be fun at parties
MrSassypants 34
"Shauna, he seriously made you wipe your shoes on before you came into the house? Dump his ass, move out, and move to ******' Antarctica because he is just a neat freak. Nice party, by the way."
gracehi 33
I'm not saying that this incident alone is reason for divorce, but it likely indicates that he cares more about his sexual satisfaction than he does about her welfare. And, in my experience, when a person is unreasonably suspicious that their partner is having an affair, it's often because they themselves are having an affair. Those reasons, I think, are grounds for divorce.
183933 6
Seriously!? That's your conclusion?
Catkam623 27
No that's the reason why 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce
phorn84 13
The whole 50% of marriages en in divorce is a fallacy. They get the numbers from how many marriage certificates were issued and how many marriages ended. If in 2013 100,000 couples got married and 50,000 got divorced, those are not necessarily the same couples. That statistic is just something that someone noticed and decided to make a statement that lacked proper support. Sorry, inaccurate statement make my blood boil.
ctina 15
#126 And this is why a basic understanding of research statistics is important!
K410 18
Ugh some men are such selfish pigs who don't deserve these amazing wives... Oh well congrats on the twins op :)
lickmychode 3
Pray tell how you know this is an "amazing wife"? because she gave birth? Give me a break.
AJDanko 7
Show him your paperwork that says you have to wait... Then smack him for being a stupid douche. Congrats on the newborns!
sunworshiper 10
Tell him to shit out a football, get stitches where the tissue ripped, then ask if you can repeatedly shove a rod up his ass 10 days later.
skulltorn 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't think you need stitches when the toilet paper tissue rips, but maybe I haven't been wiping my ass right lately.
sunworshiper 10
I was going to put anal tissue,I didn't realize at the time it could be confused with bathroom tissue. Lol
mathguy25 7
26, nah that's fine. 23 is just an idiot
BlackRogue 8
My sister had to get 53 stitches after her son.... Tore right from one hole to the other and then some.
KLeePrice 11
I hope that was a failed attempt at a joke..
KLeePrice 11
I meant that to 23, guess I look like an idiot too! :(
4gethishit 4
these are the kinds of conversations that make me never want to give birth
jazzmancarron 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your mouth didn't just give birth.
SMHsohard 22
Neither did his hand.
Blackphoenix 9
I like you.
jazzmancarron 11
masturbation gets old after awhile. by the way, my wife just gave birth about the same time, and had absolutely no problem sucking some pole last week. so your argument is kinda invalid.
doodlecloud 27
How the **** does the fact that your wife can suck **** a week after giving birth make the fact that you could also ********** invalid? You utter moron. I really hate when people make the stupidest arguments then act like they've 'won'. In any case, just because your wife doesn't mind doesn't mean every woman would be able to enjoy/stand it.
jazzmancarron 11
it makes the argument invalid because you feminazis all think that men should have to beg for any sort of intimacy, regardless of whether or not they've recently given birth, tired, ect. they think that they are the ones who have absolute say over if and when intimacy occurs, and as a result, the male ends up saying "**** it," because women like you are the reason that men cheat so much. if a guy can't get his rocks off with one woman, he'll go and find another. and you can't say that guys are the only ones who do that either, because another trait of liberal feminism is the belief that they can sleep with any man they want, when they want, how, ect without any consequence. by the way, your really easy to troll.
SMHsohard 22
What with the care and feeding of 2 newborns, most likely still being the one with the major responsibility of cooking and cleaning, and the resultant sleep deprivation, I wouldn't push the sex issue if I were him. And I DEFINITELY wouldn't ask for a *******, unless he wants to pee out of a tube for the rest of his life.
delaneyluke 5
Congratulations OP. Your husband should be up at night putting the twins to sleep instead of thinking of sex right now.
forlifebro 15
I don't see how refusing sex in the first place is a reason to think your having an affair. Congrats on the twins though
mkcherry 14
Im going to assume he just had a temporary idiot moment and doesnt continuously act like a douche the remainder of your six week wait. Im surprised 10 days out he's not exhausted and grumpy like you instead of thinking about sex, is he even helping with the twins? If you guys are used to having sex every day/every few days it might take some adjustment for him, reminding him that he stills matters whether that be through oral sex or otherwise, and that its not all about the kids might go a long ways to make him more well adjusted, helpful and less cranky. If it makes you feel any better I healed quite some time before the 6 weeks and everyone is different so you might be able to enjoy sex sooner than you think :)
saidoh_fml 26
You were headed in the right direction at first, but is it really solely her responsibility (on top of the responsibility that goes along with being a new mom) to ignore doctor's orders, jeopardize her health, and not put the kids first in order to make a grown ass man feel "well adjusted" to a situation that he helped create?