Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Dick
Today, my husband threw an epic temper tantrum because I wouldn’t have sex with him. I recently suffered from a miscarriage and the thought of anything going on down there makes me uncomfortable. He eventually calmed down and said, "Fine, just don’t be surprised if I end up cheating." FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
What have you been up to?
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
Logic
Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
So frustrating!
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Genius
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Who's at fault?
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
Top comments
Bree12345 15
Congrats on the newborns
Jasper1405 16
FYL, your husband should be ashamed of himself for putting sex over your welbeing.
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Comments (226)
JennNoVa 8
So sorry you married a selfish douche. Make him sleep on the couch-he deserves it! Let those hormones flow!
Zehla 7
Bahaha he should have known having kids means no more sex. Once you recover physically, you won't even have the energy or time, or privacy for that matter.
saidoh_fml 26
Exaggeration much?
nyf137 20
139, have you ever met a baby? It's not really an exaggeration, especially with two of them. OP will likely be exhausted for a few months at least, it takes a while before babies will even sleep through the night.
NagainaFier 16
Don't forget the nurses! OP is clearly shameless!
TheHeavyOne 15
Who the **** YDI'd this?! As a male I think I can understand the neither regions being a bit tender after giving birth. A handgibber or a BJ might relieve his tension.
jeepers_1 21
I'm pretty sure you aren't even supposed to have sex for a month or so after giving birth?
livewire1701 8
I'm a woman and I think she should have offered a ********. Depending on how often they were intimate while she was pregnant its possible her poor hubby has been without anything for quite awhile.
monnanon 14
who gives a shit how long he has gone without what he is basically doing is expecting her to have sex after major surgery. she is not in a fit state to give a bj or a handjob and shouldnt be expexted to. its only been ten days surely they both have bettwr things to be doing with their time.
love_me_electric 20
"Poor hubby"? She's the one who had to push two football-sized objects out of her ******.
sulitak 27
poor husband? really? have you EVER been pregnant? Even a good pregnancy would have her feeling like crap. my husband completely understands that I feel like crap and that means no. When pregnant the way a woman orgasms can drastically change as well, sometimes being painful. I understand that they both decided to get pregnant but that means they BOTH accept that for at least a year their sex lives change. And FTR: when my twin boys are born in september, my hubby won't be a bitch like OPs was. why? he understands whats going on.
jeepers_1 21
I don't really see why he deserves a ******** anyway... If you're not getting any sexual pleasure I certainly don't see why he deserves any!
inkdeath87 18
Your husband is so insensitive!
spottyblanket 8
You are medically forbidden from doing so.
Inkedldd 8
Sorry that hubby is so selfish. Sadly a lot of guys do this because they don't realize how much time it takes to heal.