Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband threw an epic temper tantrum because I wouldn’t have sex with him. I recently suffered from a miscarriage and the thought of anything going on down there makes me uncomfortable. He eventually calmed down and said, "Fine, just don’t be surprised if I end up cheating." FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
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Top comments
Bree12345 15
Congrats on the newborns
Jasper1405 16
FYL, your husband should be ashamed of himself for putting sex over your welbeing.
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Comments (226)
northernlass 7
Imagine - this man's genes will live on in your twins now. Good thing you two decided to have children instead of using birth control, eh?
lainzilla 14
Wow, really, you're using "you should have used birth control" on a married couple?
jeepers_1 21
a lot of couples use birth control in a marriage... if you dont want kids right away or dont want any more what else are you supposed to do next to getting tubes tied or a vasectomy
nyf137 20
Besides, that sort of behavior isn't exactly genetic.. children can be raised to be empathetic and care for others rather than only think of themselves.
AngrySailor 17
Careful you're not sentenced to be a "love slave" for "failing to perform your wifely duties".
theannak 7
The doctors say you should wait 3 months for sex anyways...
ecascio2010 9
What a moron? It takes longer than 10 days to recuperate from pushing a watermelon out of a pinhole... Jerk.
skyeyez9 25
Your ****** is extremely sore and raw after giving birth. Its the equivalent of your husband getting a cactus shoved up his ass pain wise if you had sex so soon after giving birth.
Omniprism 15
Was he not there when the doc said to wait a certain amount of time? Congrats. Tell him to use his hand if he's stressed cause with twins you two are going to be busy.
monnanon 14
a little story to lighten this fml. a father has just witnessed the birth of his child. as the nurses are finishing with his wife he askes them all long it will be until his wife is able to have sex again. "well sir" says the midwife, "it is polite to wait until we have finished stiching her first."
babyshaft408 8
Now it starts. This will be the excuse for the next yr. just be prepared for the rolls to turn.
nyf137 20
"Excuse"?? You go have birth and then come say how much you feel like having sex.
inolongercare 19
You are supposed to wait about 6 weeks. The doctor should of told him this...
mattyiscool123 26
Twins, good for you