Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML
Happy Anniversary!
Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML
My husband the shitgibbon
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Today, it's my wedding anniversary. I decided to come home early to surprise my husband, but I was the one left surprised. I walked in on him in bed with a teenager. I'm six months pregnant with our second child. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
The miracle of childbirth
Today, I realized my marriage is over. I was in labor with our first child and my husband acted like being there with me in the hospital was a chore. However, he saw a young nurse and his mood did a 180. He left soon before I gave birth because he “got hungry.” All of this and he STILL has no clue why I’m upset with him. FML
Not now!
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, my wife cancelled on our date we had planned for over a month. It would have been our first one-on-one date since the birth of our first child. Our child is over 13 months old. FML
Just once
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML
Top comments
prettyinpink03 11
Congratulations on the baby!
guitarh4 7
Tell him he needs to rethink his view on what marriage is really about.
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Comments (99)
cupcakecrazy246 6
Haha what a loser!
fml121785 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, you didn't have that baby from your mouth now did ya? ;) Get to work!
DuRpY 5
21 - marry me!
DuRpY 5
Nordrag, your priorities are ****** that you spent your time on me. I mean, CLEARLY I'm dead serious regarding my above comment, and CLEARLY I'm going to track her down and marry her. Yes!
patrickalamo 48
You have exercised your fist right of refusal. Not hubby need to make that offer elsewhere.
PurpleLightsaber 4
21- How does that relate in any way to 1's comment?
chell1894 13
Try ripping you're ****** to shreds most severe soreness first 2 weeks and still mild soreness up to a month after you little **** then see if you want to give a selfish pig a ********. More less take care of a newborn and see how tired you are.
fml121785 14
It doesn't say anything about the rest of the day. Maybe he got a babysitter for the day, took her out, wined her and dined her, and to ask for sex on your anniversary doesn't make him a pig or insensitive! Maybe he didn't know about the risks of having sex too early or that she was still in pain because she doesn't say anything about it. The least she could do would be to give him the gift of a bj if he was in the mood. I'm sure he has went down on her before when all he wanted to do was get off and get to sleep!?! Women need to keep their men happy, same goes for the guy. This is why there is so much infidelity in the world! Communication and compromise is important!
Sinkhole 26
Communication and compromise are important, yes. So why does she have to compromise and he can't? And if OP's husband didn't know about the risks of having sex too early after giving birth, then he's just a lousy husband who didn't even care enough to ask.
LilliPage 17
143 - #61 did not ask you how what you said related to the fml. She was asking how your REPLY related to number 1's comment. In simpler terms, she was pointing out your thread jacking.
fml121785 14
It doesn't have anything to do with it, just like your comment! I didn't realize I was posting there, I'm on a new app and its not quite like the other one I was using, but since it seems to bother you so much I'll try to make sure I do it more often just so you can feel superior and call me out on it! ;)
toohottiedottie 2
Are you retarded???? You can't have sex for six weeks after giving birth.
janosomething 6
Why should HE compromise and not her. I am probably older than most of you and I have seen countless relationships go dead the moment kids were born, because the woman didn't care for sex or because the man didn't find her attractive after birth. You need the spark ignited and the responsibility is both parties'!
PYLrulz 17
I just felt dumber for having read DuRpY's comments -_-
LilliPage 17
204 - The difference between your comment and mine is you posted a reply that should have been a comment. At least mine was a reply to yours, and not just some random comment. Also, I'm not one to comment or reply much and prefer not to so I can avoid arguments with people like you. Don't expect me to ever even notice another of your comments. Anyways, I don't care about threadjacking; I just wanted you to understand what #61 was trying to say. I don't feel at all superior, but you have fun attempting to annoy someone who will forget you exist within 24 hours.
emmanhall11 3
...is he on his period?
TomPusslicker 21
I think you missed a day or two of health classes.
onlychildFTW 34
I didn't know guys got periods. Learn something new everyday. Haha but seriously, no, just no. Hell no.
poppyseed420 9
Well you basically get your period for about 6 weeks after, not to mention the huge incision they make down ther
EpicBlondie89 19
They don't always make an incision. Just saying.
crazy4uboi 6
Haven't you guys ever heard of a 'man period'? She wasn't serious it's a figure of speech so to speak. It's when guys get all moody and whatever people call it a 'man period' .
emmanhall11 3
THANK YOU. It's a joke. Not a dick. Don't take it hard.
Inheritance 10
Why are there 'children' on FML like serious 205? You're 13 this site is rated 17+. Hell may of changed but idk
EpicBlondie89 19
Don't you know? Children ruin anything considered adult fun.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I'm fourteen, but I certainly act more mature. Don't make blanket statements.
j_cat187 20
127 are you rolling a blunt?
guitarh4 7
Tell him he needs to rethink his view on what marriage is really about.
DuRpY 5
A reliable go-to for an ef-session?
DuRpY 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But seriously though, when a husband can't get no lovin' from his wife, nor can he wanky-do to the thought of her covered in syrup, what the **** is he to do? Would he be the one to blame when he starts lying about his wife being his lazy sister to his robot girlfriend, whom he conveniently met because she is the residential prostitute? I don't think so. OP, just don't be surprised when you wake up one morning with your husband's ****-filled condom on your face that wasn't used on you.
PerfasarusRex 3
She just had a BABY. That's extremely selfish of him.
DuRpY 5
Haha. Can't say I didn't see that coming. Come on now, though. I was just trying to see how many past FMLs I can seamlessly splice together. Purely for laughs.
GothicAngel17 24
Durpy, so you're saying that despite the fact that it can cause her extreme pain, discomfort and mental distress, not to mention the fatal infections she can get from having sex because her cervix isn't closed, she should pretty much be his sex slave and if she doesn't have sex with him even though she just had a baby this gives him the right to be unfaithful? I hope you never have children Seriously.
chell1894 13
Some men are just pigs and make me want to vomit.
Ameel_fml 19
Wow. I must be an insensitive wife then. My last anniversary involved lunch at a cafe, taking my husband to a monster truck rally, and a late-night video game session. The topic of sex didn't even come up. We were too busy having fun with other things. Guess I just suck at being a wife then. Apparently enjoying each other's company for non-sexual reasons is wrong...or something.
DocBastard 40
It amuses me greatly when people take sarcastic comments too seriously. At least this time it wasn't mine, so I get a reprieve.
Soloman212 28
I feel awful for not being able to thumb up that comment 44 times, and thumb down the one that took him seriously 30-some times... Ah well, one for each will do.
cajekraze 7
OP, your mouth isn't broken. Work it out
yousuck44 11
Agreed, to me people don't know the true reason behind marriage -_-
DuRpY 5
Good golly. That's 57 people and counting that need to make a trip to the ER room to get their iPhone, or whatever other foreign device, removed from their rectum. And that's also 57 people and counting that prove there needs to be a sarcasm font for the Internet, because clearly they can't grasp, with how preposterously caustic and superfluously abominable my original comment was, that it was an obvious attempt at sarcasm. DocBastard, if you all of a sudden have 57 people knocking on your door to undergo rectal foreign body removal, I want referral fee.
valleyshooter 8
Durpy just stop. Ppl hated you today. Theirs always tomorrow. Better luck next time.
rebanne 5
Ditto. He's an Asswipe.
prettyinpink03 11
Congratulations on the baby!
gc327072 31
Doesn't matter, had kid!
TheGianaJinx 0
That was uncalled for.
missathegirlwond 19
... So is your profile picture, 165.
klorehore 24
you got a child with a man who acts like one. Chew him out and set him straight, sounds like he is mostly focused on himself. And congrats!
KiddNYC1O 22
Chew him out? Hmm, wise choice of words given the situation. Lol.
BBLLAAHHHHHfml 0
Ha I thought the same thing!! Hahaa
astoryofroses 9
poor you. you have 2 babies to take care of :(
kennaem1 11
I find your picture fitting to this post
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I don't know anything about marriage, but I know it shouldn't be all about the sex. He needs to take your feelings and well-being into consideration. Try to explain that to him.
chell1894 13
Not even just her feelings. How about the fact that sex can be EXTREMELY painful up to a month after having a baby. Your ****** just suffered a lot of damage. It needs time to heal. And having sex after is painful and just prolongs healing. I find it extremely disgusting that he would rather her be in physical pain then not have his pleasure. He's a selfish child
Guilty21 3
I thought you didn't know anything about marriage. How do you know it's not all about sex if you don't know anything about it? I'm confused.
Jaxx66 21
67- after I had my daughter; my doctor said not to engage in sexual activities for six weeks. It took me 10 to heal and stop bleeding. So yes.... Very painful indeed. Plus the lack of sleep, recovering from all the crazy hormones. On top of it, I suffered from depression, worrying about the baby loving him more. (I know it's irrational, but it's something that can sadly happen)
unknown_user5566 27
106- She was trying to be humble by recognizing that she's young, and has obviously never experienced marriage. She was right though, so trying to twist her words in an attempt to be clever was really quite pointless.
chell1894 13
138 not irrational at all. Women go through so much mentally and physically through pregnancy and a lot of people don't understand or care to understand. Between hormones and how exhausted you must be from giving birth and taking care of a new born that is not irrational at all! I have family members who have had a lot of emotional problems after giving birth like depression and so on.
BeautyMonster 17
It isn't even recommended to have sex until 4-6 weeks after delivery, as your body is still recovering. Most wait to be cleared by their doctor. Your husband is an ass.
annie_nk 23
Exactly. For me, just the thought of sex would make me cringe. Even after the cuts and tears healed, sex had to be gentle. So I hope OP's husband gets over it quickly because he has a few more weeks of waiting.
vgonz01 1
Yup. For me, two weeks after birth I was still bleeding like crazy. I wouldn't have wanted to have sex either. Guess I would make a bad wife too :-/
stfuNOWplease 6
I stopped bleeding 5 weeks after giving birth to my sugar dumpling and once I was cleared to have sex again, it was so painful. I feel so bad for OP. Its not her fault she cant have sex.
writergirl23 19
I have birth 6 weeks ago to my baby boy, and I was having sex less than two weeks later with my hubby, each to her own I guess.
LMFAOaMIGIT 3
Well if the front door is closed go through the back.
stfuNOWplease 6
175 & 180 DOCTORS DO NOT recommend sex for 4-6 weeks for A REASON! But yes, you're right. To each his or her own if they want to get infections or become sterile.
LMFAOaMIGIT 3
Why so serious?
MissMae93 23
Seriously? He needs to grow up. That's just plain mean to you. Maybe go to the doctor with him and have the doctor explain the hazards of intercourse too soon after child birth? Good luck, OP, and congrats on the new baby!
rangerPat 12
Of all the comments on this FML, this is hands down the most intelligent comment. People who are saying that he's being insensitive, clearly know these finer points of sex and marriage, whereas OP's hubby might just not know *why* she is abstaining sex.
chell1894 13
Dude it's common sense it would be painful. Push something the size of a pine apple out of your penis hole and tell me you wouldn't be in pain for weeks after? Common sense. It doesn't take a medical degree to know you'll be sore after going through what everyone will tell you the most painful thing.
rangerPat 12
150; why are you trying to convince me of this? I said OP's hubby might not understand.
Misskayfoyer 14
You would be surprised about the extent of how ignorant people can be. The husband is ignorant and his actions, childish. I have dated that type of guy before, and let me tell you, no amount of explaining will make him understand until he decides to be mature about the situation. I hope op can find a way around his ignorance, to let him know the reasons why she cannot have sex.
DocBastard 40
Good, let him sulk. If he's that clueless, he doesn't deserve sex anyway, especially on his anniversary under these circumstances.
Metallica36176 16
That's how I feel. If he's sulking because he's being a brat, I want him to sulk. I dont know why but I enjoy it so much when someone deserves it and pouts/upset/angry. It teaches them a lesson. Go about your day and enjoy yourself. I wouldnt even waste my breath on yelling at him, he'll sulk more when you dont care. Congratulations on the baby :)