Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML
Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML
Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, my brother managed to correctly guess I’d lost my virginity. Apparently I was limping slightly, so he guessed I had a sore crotch and obviously must've popped my cherry. He was right, but I wish he hadn’t blurted it out in front of mom, who is religious and judgemental as hell. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
He acts like VASTLY underage sex is something to be proud of.
Zoldyck 17
It's really not that big of a deal. Not many girls want a player, anyway.
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Comments (202)
shinikageWolf 15
Because meaningless STD filled sex is so great?
DanCastellaneta 17
On the bright side, you're actually gonna live a long life while your fucknut of a brother will probably be one of those 420_YoLO_XxX people who do nothing but be unproductive members of society.
ThisIsBobNotBill 1
Hmm, I wonder what mom and dad would have to say about that...
Szaszaspasz 26
He will be choking back tears during STD testing or getting slapped with child support suits.
GeorgiaBea 28
The fact that he almost made you cry, kinda means you deserve it. Haven't you ever heard of a hooker?
rowan721 1
Yet another example of what's wrong with people today. Wonder what happened to waiting and not rushing into things....teenage pregnancy is on the rise and it's because of little assholes and society belittling those who choose to wait
thecrazymancan 17
I hope your brother realizes that he can be arrested for child molesting. :/
Ninjerman 7
The joke's on him OP. He now has nothing special to share with his future wife.
sariluv88 3
they keep getting younger.
pinkiepink 15
i rather be a virgin than a pregnant *****. ignore him.