Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML
Charmer
Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML
Whataboutism
Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Block-cocked
Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML
Thanks for the input
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
How d'you guess?
Today, my brother managed to correctly guess I’d lost my virginity. Apparently I was limping slightly, so he guessed I had a sore crotch and obviously must've popped my cherry. He was right, but I wish he hadn’t blurted it out in front of mom, who is religious and judgemental as hell. FML
Top comments
MidnaLink 35
He acts like VASTLY underage sex is something to be proud of.
Zoldyck 17
It's really not that big of a deal. Not many girls want a player, anyway.
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Comments (202)
secondcitystyles 19
"cockslap"
AcrusaderA 10
"Control of one's urged lead to strength. Both of the body and mind." A quote to speak while you savagely beat him to display your dominance.
charlespaintin14 4
Look, can I be brutally honest with you? 1) Everyone saying "oh, you don't want that, underage sex is bad, blah blah" is basically lying to make you feel better. 2) You know that you want sex. Obviously. Otherwise, you wouldn't cry when he mocked you for it. If you truly didn't want sex, you would act confused, or shrug and go "So? I literally do not want sex. I have more important stuff going on" blah blah. Like you wouldn't react, emotionally. The fact you got teared up about it shows you want sex. 3) In order for a man to be happy in life, he must A) be honest with himself about what he wants; B) he must intelligently, and logically, research and then form a plan on how to get what he wants; C) then he must work hard to get what he wants; and D), he WILL get what he wants, and he will be happy and proud for doing so. When you are lazy, or fearful, or hesitant, that is when you encounter problems. You need to just go for it. 4) Note: By me saying "Just go for it", that is not saying that you will get laid overnight. You need to put in a lot of work. I am going to list a few books that you NEED to read, which will educate you on this topic. A) "Revelations" by Mystery and Lovedrop (by far the most important book to read as it talks about inner game extensively) B) "The mystery method: how to get beautiful women into bed" by Mystery C) "Sperm Wars" by Robin Baker D) "Magic Bullets" E) "The science of the alpha male" I forget who wrote it (basically, FIND A BOOK ABOUT WHAT IT IS TO BE AN ALPHA MALE.) Theres also a good article titled "alpha male vs beta male traits: learn the difference", you can google it and read it for free. 5) I will briefly list some other stuff you need to do, physically, to get to that point. A) Women want a tall man. If you are short, you need to wear height increasing insoles when you go on dates. B) Women want a muscular man. If you are not muscular, you need to get a gym membership and start lifting weights. If you get strong and fit, you will get laid much more easily. You can actually be a nerd, but if you are muscular and strong and you aren't short, you will still usually get p*ussy very easily. If you are short, unfortunately you will need to be both muscular AND learn the basics of game, so that you can at least act somewhat cool around girls. C) If you wanna meet a woman, you should get a Tinder profile as well as an occupied profile. SWIPE EVERY SINGLE GIRL RIGHT. You will eventually get SOME matches. Again, if you get zero matches at all, you need to focus on the gym for a little while and get ripped. Also, whiten your teeth and go tanning. Then, when you are ripped, muscular, white teeth, then go tanning for a couple weeks and GET REALLY TANNED AND SEXY. THEN PUT ON SOME REALLY GOOD LOOKING CLOTHES AND TAKE A COUPLE PICTURES TO PUT ON TINDER. D) ALSO TAKE A COUPLE PICS WITH HOT GIRLS- BE THEY FRIENDS, OR EVEN PAY THEM $20 TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOU. IN ORDER TO GET LAID BY OTHER GIRLS, GIRLS NEED TO ASSUME YOU HAVE GOTTEN LAID BEFORE. THATS WHY THE PIC WITH OTHER GIRLS IS SO NECESSARY. Put the following pics on tinder: A) you with hot girls, B) you with cool friends or doing cool things, C) a couple sexy pics of you by yourself looking super good E) Also take some pictures with your guy friends- if you don't have any guy friends, take a picture with your brother at least. Hopefully you have SOME guy friends. If they are complete tools (losers), then at least try to take a pic of them where they LOOK cool. It seems shallow, BUT WOMEN ARE SHALLOW. Thats how it goes bro thats how it goes. ========================== To give you a backstory: I am 5'5. I have a bad facial/eye twitch. I am balding. I am naturally skinny and slim boned. However, I have had sex with over 60 different girls, many of them very attractive, admittedly a lot were also chubby but they had cute faces and sex with them was still fun. In other words, I routinely can get sex with women at or slightly above my league, even though women typically only have sex with men they feel are above their leagues. I do this by manipulating the woman impression of my physical appearance, and stacking the deck in my favor, and acting in a confident alpha male way. You can get laid, but you need to get motivated and then you need to put in the hard work. Some people are successful because they are born that way... But you can still become successful through hard work, intelligent decisions, and careful planning.
nxbiaa 8
Don't worry, the right one will come along
Mal23 5
damn! This new generation moves fast?
bilbo_watson 7
Sorry, OP. Your brother sucks. I'll tell you right now that losing your virginity young isn't something to be really proud of. I didn't lose my virginity, but I did engage in sexual activity when I was that age, and it took me a long time to stop hating myself for it. Wait for someone that you love. Sex isn't the achievement it's made to be and it isn't at all pleasurable when it's with someone that doesn't care about you. It just makes you feel cheap.
Gemini9 5
I've never replied to an FML but this one I feel like I should. I am also 25 years old and I am still a virgin. I am honestly disgusted by young teens bragging about having sex. That shows me that they are WAY too immature to be having sex. It's not about being safe or being in love or any of that. For me, it's about valuing myself. I see absolutely no point in having sex. People say it's fun and it feels good. Yeah, well, so is sky-diving I hear. Or meth. I don't do either of those things either. Screw what anyone else says, OP. This sort of thing should never be forced or else it has absolutely no meaning to it. You'll get there :)
Eliver 2
You are probably a pretty cool person and your brother sounds like an asshole.
coldhardsteel 5
if your brother keeps being a dick, call the cops. any sexual Intercourse under the age of consent(18) in california is considered statutory rape.
blargblah 12
What happened to the good old days when older brothers kicked the shit out of their younger siblings for mouthing off?