Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML
Charmer
Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML
Whataboutism
Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Block-cocked
Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML
Thanks for the input
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
How d'you guess?
Today, my brother managed to correctly guess I’d lost my virginity. Apparently I was limping slightly, so he guessed I had a sore crotch and obviously must've popped my cherry. He was right, but I wish he hadn’t blurted it out in front of mom, who is religious and judgemental as hell. FML
Top comments
MidnaLink 35
He acts like VASTLY underage sex is something to be proud of.
Zoldyck 17
It's really not that big of a deal. Not many girls want a player, anyway.
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Comments (202)
VlahVlahVlah 12
Don't. Listen. To. Him.
cloudyface 23
Don't worry not everyone wants a man-*****. Someone will value that aspect of you.
BloodyGlass 10
My brother had sex at 14, I had sex at 23. He started drinking at 16, I have had an alcoholic drink every few months since I was 21. He has been arrested, has several tickets for speeding and reckless driving, and is in a job he hates; I have had one speeding ticket (7 miles over the speed limit), I have never been arrested, and I now live with wonderful roommates and will be finishing college within the next year or so. Don't let the toxic people like your cockslap of a brother infect you, you're a better person and will reach greatness one day. He's jealous of you and that's why he tries to drag you down. Don't let him, you're better than that.
young_stud 14
OP, how is it that your bother can get laid but not you? Lack of social skils usually run in families, so it can't be that, and yet I can't think of any other possible explanation for how someone is unable to get laid in 25 years.
becca9985 34
And when he knocks up some girl at the age of 15, I'm sure you'll be getting the last laugh.