Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SundayNightSix 23
Hey, why bother to include the middleman anymore, right?
lizard365 12
umm I have a good question why in the world would you flush a hamburger down the toilet??
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (122)
JBChristian 47
#6, you've already demonstrated "way to hard".
ViciousClarity8 9
If she's older than ten then there's a bigger problem besides her clogging the pipes.. If she's flushing food then she's not wanting you to know she's not eating.. She may have a weight issue..
Fmlsea 28
maybe she has a food issue and not a weight issue .
theonecasey 27
I hope this isn't am eating problem...
rocker_chick23 27
Is she a teenager? If so, she probably has an eating disorder.
EpicGuy70 13
What kind of fucktard doesn't use a garbage can to throw things away?
BreathingClover 19
I mean, who the **** would do that?
JimHill75 7
What I want to know is what kind of father actually calls his daughter an idiot? Obivously this is a young child, or at least one so young who doesn't know any better. Way to go there dad! I got three kids of my own and I would never call mine that.
jmfreee 16
It kind of sounds like it's not a young child, hence why the action was idiotic. And just bc a person is your child doesn't make them not an idiot at times. I know lots of idiots. That means some parents somewhere have idiots for children.
mikbrooke 25
i feel like this wouldnt be so much of an FML is the kid was young, because they are known to get up to things like this. so no, its not obviously a young child, & the parent is entitled to call their kid an idiot if they do an idiotic thing. and i know lots of parents who would call their kid an idiot because of them doing idiotic things.
katydid91 31
Well the hamburger would've ultimately ended up in the toilet anyways, your daughter just skipped a few steps.
maggiefox 25
Waste of a hamburger
drummer1017 8
I'm guessing you get mad if she doesn't finish her meals or wastes anything so she responded by flushing it down the toilet hoping you wouldn't know?