Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
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Top comments
SundayNightSix 23
Hey, why bother to include the middleman anymore, right?
lizard365 12
umm I have a good question why in the world would you flush a hamburger down the toilet??
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Comments (122)
SnowFangedBeauty 19
You can't call a child an idiot because It's your fault you raised her -____-
Fmlsea 28
or lack of raising as suggested by the username .
sweetnsourrr 11
Just because it said the mother raised her it doesn't mean only the mother raised her, sometimes, parents like to blame each other when the kid does something wrong when really its just the child's fault.
Candissimo 13
She had to teach that hamburger a lesson.
me1224 12
Tell her the next time she tries it to not flush it all down at the same time
pancakesfna 12
Ok, we need a follow up on this because the main thing I'm wondering is, How old is your daughter? If under 4 why the **** would you call her an idiot, and why were't you supervising her to the point where she had the time to flush a hamburger down the toilet (this is me assuming either her or you were eating the hamburger, or supposed to be eating, and she somehow flushed it) if she's under 4 don't blame the mother for any reason, you should of been supervising if it was dinner time (or any other eating time) if shes older then that she should know better, meaning there's possibly underlying issues (especially if she's above the age of ten or so) and you should talk to her without being angry.
KatsFaerie 7
Maybe she has an eating disorder..
unnormal7741 1
hope she's not doing it because of an eating disorder
thatssomia 12
she threw ham down the toilet?? :O :'((
boshbish 14
WHY? Haha
reneewessler42 4
No matter who raised her, I really despise the fact you called your own daughter an idiot. Even though in your mind it may come across as a joke, it doesn't on this. It sounds hateful and rude and I would hate to read this if I were your daughter. Actually, this offends me already and I don't even know who you are. Seriously, grow up you immature ****.
mikbrooke 25
anyone who tries to flush a hamburger down the toilet is an idiot. and the parents are entitled to call their child that if they do something idiotic. and considering the circumstances, it doesnt sound all that hateful or rude. it fits the circumstance well.
liffagain 16
no. parents are entitled to make their child understand what he/she did wrong and why we don't do that. calling your kid an idiot if they make something stupid is not really a productive way of getting them understand and never do it again.
mikbrooke 25
to me, it sounds like his daughter is closer to or at teenage years, rather than being a child (under the age of 9). mainly because it wouldnt be such a FML if it was a little kid, as they get up to odd things whilst learning wrong from right. after the age of 10, its okay to call your kid an idiot because they should already know better than to try and flush a hamburger down a toilet. if it was a young child, i doubt any parent would be calling them an idiot.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
so parents aren't allowed to call their child idiots but if it were the other way around it be acceptable?? Seems like the immature **** here is you :P
reneewessler42 4
Also - if the dumbest thing your daughter has done is flush a hamburger done the toilet, I'd say she's doing alright.