Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML
Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
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Top comments
astoryofroses 9
happy father's day!
lajaynay 15
What would possess him to do that? Like seriously? How is that even a good joke?
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Comments (64)
curleyQ97 9
how is that funny?
astoryofroses 9
happy father's day!
thatgirlinoregon 21
Sounds to me like dad's a troll!
ladyLALAA 29
Thought I was losing my mind because it's not Fathers Day but then realized this was in America. Yay, not crazy after all!
romesh17fml 8
*insert troll dad face*
AKGirlinSD 20
Either your dad is a troll or he thinks he's helping you out to get the ladies. No one would find that funny, even as a pick up line. Good luck with your dad :-/.
TheFuckerofShit 16
I just imagined this FML as a troll comic.
TinyEMT 6
Hopefully he told them he was joking.. :/
onlychildFTW 34
I really don't see how this is a joke. It doesn't even have the potential of being funny.
TinyEMT 6
I see your point.... :P
Nutz101 7
Your dad must like to joke but thats a little to far. FYL
nobodylikesyou 3
Hes just trying to help
vocaloidtiger 12
What..?
cathyfang1533 12
I think #5 means the dad wanted to get OP a girlfriend...I guess that plan sort of crashed and burned! Heehee, okay, I'll go stand in the corner now. T-T
Epickitty58 29
How is telling two strangers that your kid crashed into their cars helpful to anybody?
lajaynay 15
What would possess him to do that? Like seriously? How is that even a good joke?
vocaloidtiger 12
Meant to thumb you down. This guy's dad is hilarious!
igive 29
to ensure his son's virginity.
lajaynay 15
13- I guess I missed the hilarity somewhere. I wonder where I left my sense of humor... *backtracks through previous FMLs* Gee, I just can't seem to find the spot I dropped it at. -_-
perdix 31
Because, after he lets them off the hook, he can apologize to them by offering to take them out for drinks. Then, he can have a three-way with them, which is hilarious!
lajaynay 15
If they're under 18, this is creepy. If they're at least 21, this is smooth. Ménage à trois!
perdix 31
He could only take them out for drinks if they could pass for 21, so let's go with smooth. Sorry, I bumped your friend's car in the parking lot. So, what's her name and do you like piña coladas?
lajaynay 15
Okay, smooth then. He might skip the piña coladas and go straight for the margaritas with extra tequila. (because that is the smooth thing to do!)
perdix 31
Then, margaritas for you it shall be. Is that what your friend likes, too? I want you both to have your favorite drinks because it's going to be a loooooonnnnggg night ;)
lajaynay 15
All girls love margaritas! Long nights mean more fun!
perdix 31
Good, 'cause I'll be done in about 8 minutes and then Twitter, Facebook and blog about it until the sun comes up. Maybe, even write an FML. "Today, I had a threesome with two hot chicks. Instead of letting me blog about it, they want me to come back to bed. FML."
lajaynay 15
What I love is that the blogging lasts longer than the actual threesome. Oh, and everyone would vote a YDI on that one. :)
perdix 31
I don't know, I think a lot of people would think I didn't deserve a threesome with two hot chicks :D
RedPillSucks 33
Get a room! Here's my key... I'll be waiting
perdix 31
And make sure you follow me on Twitter. My account of the events will no doubt be sexier, hotter and more satisfying than my actual performance. My motto is:"Underpromise, then underdeliver."
BulldogHoops 14
Annoying as that is, be glad you have a humorous, loving father. Happy Father's Day!
AugustBurnsToast 14
Probably not the best way to break the ice haha
vocaloidtiger 12
Troll dad on Fathers Day. Nice.
MeLuvBewbs 7
If I were the girls I would be outraged and kicked something...
breeY0 7
.......
fersuremandeee 9
That solves everything, I wish I had thought of it myself.
FMLshark 12
I'm pretty sure reactions like that call for a few therapy sessions for anger management. You might need to look into that.
Drizzelhell 3
For kicking something you need therapy..... Really!