Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
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Top comments
SundayNightSix 23
Hey, why bother to include the middleman anymore, right?
lizard365 12
umm I have a good question why in the world would you flush a hamburger down the toilet??
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Comments (122)
lil_mars 1
I think it was #107 who tried to say that binging and purging is only apart of bulimia.. Actually, the new DSM just added a few subtypes to the Anorexia Nervose diagnosis including a binge/purge subtype. Basically, you have cycles of starvation/restriction and B/Ping while being underweight.
amisenho 11
Brought to you by White Castle, now serving mini sliders in your microwave!
Aero_x 21
Hopefully this isn't a a sign of anorexia.
jman26 11
What a waste of a burger
mkayden 23
Am I the only one wondering how big that hamburger was. I mean, you would expect it to flush if it were a regular sized hamburger. Maybe OP has a weird toilet.
rawlings123 17
I suck balls.
scarlet11456 2
You should never call your daughter an idiot that is is wrong on so many levels I hope you've never said it to her face
Jociek 4
Maybe she's acting out because her own mom calls her an idiot...
Decodedman 1
Bulimia: You're doing it wrong.
ClumsyDude15 1
Ummmm, just maybe she has a legit reason why she flushed it down?