Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
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Top comments
SundayNightSix 23
Hey, why bother to include the middleman anymore, right?
lizard365 12
umm I have a good question why in the world would you flush a hamburger down the toilet??
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Comments (122)
plantedrabbit3 16
I love the tittle "her mom raised her" lol
Flowtastic 16
Tittles is one fml up about the 12 year old in love...
spoo 24
And she has a doofus father who cant fix a toilet. YDI OP. L2B dad
Gittoh 21
maybe he's dead? :( or divorced?
Shlalg 15
I haven' clicked any yet, but Y(kind of)DI because: 1. They gave no age for the daughter - if she's young, we all know young kids try to hide food they don't want to eat. But the username mentions raising, suggesting she IS a bit older, leading to: 2. They gave away all parental responsibility to the other parent. Maybe your kid wouldn't be an idiot if you helped with the raising? But who knows, maybe the girl really is just dumb.
Flowtastic 16
I'm guessing the child IS young and just as many parents do when a child does something wrong they blame the other.... "YOUR son got detention today" or "YOUR daughter was out past curfew" etc.
sadistmonkey 19
Or, the parents are separated/divorced and the mother has primary custody so the father doesn't have as much input.
clrichmond2009 24
23, that's exactly how my husband and I are. if my oldest does something good and I'm telling my husband, its "my son", but if he goofs up, its "your son".
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
I don't think that's how a Krabby Patty is made.
SnazzyPotter 17
People try way to hard on plot twists.
thelittlemissy 29
McClog
Flowtastic 16
Could you please show me the way to hard?
worldclassrager 41
Trying to feed the sewer rats it looks like
wvcheesehead 13
From my experience, a Mexican toilet should be able to take a violent pounding. A hamburger should not even tickle one.
mt631 18
Oh no, she's trying to summon the Burger King! Get out of the house now OP!
EnderWolf1013 9
HAHAHAHAHHA