Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. Later on, his mom pulls me aside and tells me to back off, saying he will never marry someone like me and he should be with a nice girl like his ex. They broke up after he found her in his bed with his roomate. FML
Today, our daughter has actually been dating a decent guy, compared to the usual losers, and was going to meet his parents. My wife put her foot in it by repeating over and over again how important meeting the parents is. She psyched her out so bad, she cancelled meeting his parents and dumped him. FML
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Today, I was set up on my first blind date since my divorce. My expectations were low, but when she showed up, she was a smoking hot. She was way out of my league, she was delightful and kind throughout the date, but my low confidence shined through. That night she acquired an expensive dinner and a stalker. Me. FML
Today, my friend reminded me that I have been on a ton of dates lately, but couldn't get a girlfriend because I thought something was off with them all. He also reminded me that I have dated every zodiac sign, meaning I'm out of options. FML
Today, my brother set me up on a blind date. I've been single for years and he said she was a perfect match for me, so I was excited. Turned out the fucker was playing a prank. The girl was my sister, who was just as surprised as I was. FML
Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
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Top comments
Stachelschaf 15
doesn't sound that intelligent to me
Tripartita 45
I'm sorry you missed out on a date with a nice… erm, pretty girl, OP.
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Comments (55)
Stachelschaf 15
doesn't sound that intelligent to me
waleedma 18
Well you are better this way.... You dint want stars to control your life!!
Tripartita 45
I'm sorry you missed out on a date with a nice… erm, pretty girl, OP.
OlRed 28
I'm not for or against this practice but I believe op is talking about.. marriage and not just a date. But yeah, lucky Dodge there op.
vikky538 29
This is typical indian family marriage deal
Pizzacrust96 3
Obviously not that intelligent if she believes in that crap and didn't bother giving you a chance. Dodged a bullet there op
withered 30
Like you would like it if you were being forced into marriage. She was probably really desperate to escape it.
tj4234 36
It's a cultural thing mist likely. Indians are very superstitious.
em_iweird 26
A lot of arranged marriages consist of reading into each other's horoscopes.
withered 30
Not much difference imo. I would guess that the social pressure to listen to their parents when it comes to marriage is so huge they eventually give in. I do not agree even with arranged marriages. People should be able to choose whichever partner they want. At least this woman was able to reject someone she does not like.
LARC_UoGuelph 9
She is pretty stupid.
MrEpicSqueaky101 18
Dodged a bullet there. I dated someone who believed all of it and it was annoying because it allowed her to assume things because of the "readings" saying so.
DankNissan 11
Dodged a bullet there OP.
Legospiker004 5
Fortunately, you may have dodged a superstitious nightmare...
hoosiergirl94 31
Looks like you're the one out of her league
C8H18 33
Dodged a bullet there, OP.