Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
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Top comments
xlord 27
So you are dealing with a real life version of Chucky?
JoeyJaws68 18
How long were things going well? 10 minutes?
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Comments (114)
darkfireflame 15
You should have joined the kid on the roof.
zaen 11
baby Rambo...
Kagrish 9
Are you babysitting Dennis the menace?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
First off, how did you not notice the kid taping a knife onto a toy gun? How old was this kid? And how old was the kid who climbed onto the roof in fear? Plus, how did the parents react? And did you get the kid down from the roof and get the weapon away from the other one? Sheesh.
LaUruguaya 11
How were you not able to stop them by the time they got all the way to the roof?? You sound like a sucky babysitter!
AlexRen 21
Tonight on: BabySitting the devil's Children.
baref00tmama 15
You sound like a totally incompetent babysitter. How did the child manage to get ahold of a knife? Why didn't you immediately get it away from him? How did he manage to get to the barbecue by himself? How did BOTH children manage to get outside unsupervised? Stop texting/Facebooking/Twittering/whatever-ing, and WATCH THE KIDS.
dirtydiana57 3
Maybe you should keep a better eye on them.
sea_cucumber_11 11
Those are some nice kids you watch
levirudisel 8
I cant wait to have kids