Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
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Top comments
xlord 27
So you are dealing with a real life version of Chucky?
JoeyJaws68 18
How long were things going well? 10 minutes?
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Comments (114)
davincidasecond 24
Honestly, if you can't keep a knife away from a kid and let him/her wreak havoc, you need to find another job.
caramelie 7
Really?! How did the kid get ahold of a knife, duct tape and matches , before you caught on the what was going on? How did the other kid get all the way on the roof before you realized it? I have been a nanny for two sets of triplets for the past 11 years. Don't tell me one distracted you . If you are the care provider for children, it is your responsibility to entertain them, not allow them to run around like crazies. Yes there were days when the kids were 2&3 that one would spill, one would need to potty, and one would fall down. You pick your priorities. The blood is most important.
pedinhuh 23
Aahhh the wonders of duct tape...XD
sugarbear0727 19
Lmfao. Sounds fun.
Mailman2121 15
So you let a kid play with a knife and light a barbecue and the other one climb onto the roof? You really f*cking suck as a babysitter
Raesin 21
Are you the same babysitter who was having sex with her boyfriend on the couch? No wonder the kids got that far.
martin8337 36
Devilspawn.
CrazyOvrMustangs 10
You seem like a terrible baby sitter to let them get away with that
mohamed_H 21
What are you babysitting?... Monkeys?
martin8337 36
No, house apes.
metreman 19
maybe op put them down for nap and they sneaked out while op thought they were asleep