Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Make it stop
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Sneaky
Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Demon child
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
Top comments
xlord 27
So you are dealing with a real life version of Chucky?
JoeyJaws68 18
How long were things going well? 10 minutes?
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Comments (114)
castleofg1ass 19
You should have filmed their behavior to show as evidence to their parents, so the kids get punished and you get paid
NotoriousLES 14
My guess, these kids don't get punished. Kids raised with discipline do not behave that way unless there is some terrible mental defect. Regardless, the babysitter is better off without video evidence against her, child endangerment is pretty serious.
clh3031 6
Not to mention a video would show how much OP sucks at babysitting. I know kids can be a handful but for that many serious things to go wrong there is no way they were being supervised.
erjazo 17
You must have been doing a great job to let him get his hands on a knife or near the barbecue. Time for a career change...and consider yourself lucky if the parents ONLY fire you.
Patriot115 10
Looks like Rambo at a young age
Fernando83 19
How did both kids manage to run a muck? We're you not taking care of either one of them?
DocBastard 40
Run a muck? Surely you meant "run amok". I don't remember reading anything about them running into muck. But then again, I'm old and my eyes fail me.
jrock9093 18
Kids from hell sorry
Mookiisfabulous 15
I am afraid that people don't understand how hard it is to watch two children at the same time. OP was probably busy taking care of the one child for whatever reason and the other sneak off. I have one child who is 18 months old, I can go into the kitchen to fix her lunch for few seconds and turn around to catch her on top of the dinning table. I even had the gate up to keep her from doing so, but she learn how to undo the damn thing. You think you have taken steps ahead of them or remove anything from their sight, but children are sneaky and can get by you within the few seconds you turn your back from them. Sorry OP, I hope you got everything under control or at least call their parents to know their one child is running around crazy like and scaring the other.
xRazzSheri 4
I have watche'd three kids ranging from 4-12, who's parents were seperating and the children had a lot of emotional struggles because of it. They were always fighting and one was always running left while the others ran right. Did they ever get a hold of a knife or lighter fluid or matches? Hell no. Dont use the "children are sneaky" excuse, that's a cop out. OP should have been watching them better. I have a sneaking suspicion that OP was on their smartphone or watching TV. How long does it take an adult to find the damn end of a ducktape roll? It would take a child far longer, which means these kids were left to their own devices for a while.
Mookiisfabulous 15
Duct tape? My duct tape is sitting up on a shelf above the washer. Not everyone even adults have trouble finding duct tape. Which I don't know how that is comparable. It isn't an excuse... We make mistakes and it happens. I doubt the parents warn OP how wild the children can get.
erjazo 17
I have a set of twin toddlers and a school age child....it's really not THAT hard to watch them. And I say that as a mother, who handles all the regular housekeeping and cooking, as well. A BABYSITTER, who is hired to WATCH the kids, really shouldn't have any trouble keeping tabs on where two kids are and what they're doing. This is pure negligence, and if a sitter I hired ever let things get THAT out of control at my house, I would be looking for a way to press criminal charges.
NotoriousLES 14
I have four kids. Are they quick and sneaky, yes. Has anything even half this horrifying ever happened? NO! Not even when all four are working as a team against me! Why? I pay attention, at least in regular intervals. It probably also helps that I'm not above corporal punishment for terrorists activities.
xRazzSheri 4
I didn't say finding duct tape.. I said finding the end of the duct tape... you know, to peel it?
clh3031 6
I have 3 children all less than 2 years apart, it has been very difficult at times but never as serious as what OP is dealing with. Yes, they are fast but I'm always a step or two behind as it is my job to be as a parent. Sharp objects should always be placed way out of reach (out of sight out of mind) as well as matches. While accidents happen on my watch, it definitely would not be due to a knife or falling off the roof. It takes it to a whole new level with all those things involved in a single sitting...like neglect on the adults part.
rt156 16
This is why i dont like kids.i dont have the patience to tolerate them.
jw90 18
The kid on the roof has the right idea.
pandarawrable 12
I feel like I need more story... How in the hell did this kid have enough time to do all of that?
blackonblight 33
Probably each step happened as the sitter was trying desperately to solve the problems from the previous one. Kid scares his sister, sister gets upset comes to sitter, while sitter and sister talk, demon child makes knifegun, sitter begins crisis negotiation, demon child ignores and runs around destroying things, sitter in frantic damage control, demon child gets to barbecue which parents must have recently used and left the fluid nearby, meanwhile sister is in fear for her life from demon child and climbs up on the roof, which might be a split level home or a garage roof. Plenty of my friends houses growing up had roofs that you could get on top of with an object to climb on, maybe 8 feet up. The how is simple. The WHY isn't.
kalbrek009 20
Baby sitting means "watching" the kids to keep them safe & out of trouble...so whatever "your" version of baby sitting is, apparently is more of what, letting them do what they want while you ignore them & get paid? I wouldn't let you sit my kids again after that. Just wait til you have your own...I see some child negligence charges against you from a court in your future.
erjazo 17
Hopefully, OP will have the good sense NOT to have children. Although, if she can't keep a knife out of a child's hands, I doubt she understands birth control, either...