Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
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Top comments
xlord 27
So you are dealing with a real life version of Chucky?
JoeyJaws68 18
How long were things going well? 10 minutes?
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Comments (114)
ifavela89 13
yikes hope they are paying you good
jayellef 3
Call the parents and have them come home stat! If not send them to their room for the remainder of the night, cause those kids be crazy.
Jiplo 18
There is a reason why Call of Duty is rated M...
TogeBara 12
this comment is baseless and oozes stupidity
CookieLovesBoo 16
Playing a cooking game doesn't help me become a chef . Playing a racing game doesn't help me become a race car driver . So how would call of duty make me a killer -
TogeBara 12
"The pencil MADE me write as well as Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, and the other greats. I just couldn't control myself." Sounds stupid eh? Games do not make one violent.
blackonblight 33
I... Sweet merciful Eris, how do you... Is that... I was going to say horror movie or sitcom, but no, neither quite makes sense. Ye gods, I would have been considering my options. "Ok, so, do I call the cops, the exorcist, animal control, Chinese take out" Also my ass would be on that roof too. That kid's NANNERS.
dvl2035 10
Reminds me of Calvin & Hobbes
Obey_StudBoii 23
You should intervened before any of this happened and so and so decided to go on the roof. YDI.
caitlinbblack 14
Why was this not caught before they started doing it?
Jezzikah 11
Maybe this fml was posted by the girl who had sex with her bf while babysitting. Because obviously if all this happened you weren't doing a very good job of watching them.
Jezzikah 11
Sorry didn't realize 68 beat me to saying this
joopjoop 19
and the parents didn't pay you either right? I wouldn't pay you and would definitely fire you and tell all my friends not to hire you if you were supposed to be watching my kids and they were handling a knife or fire starting devices or climbing the roof. wtf were you doing the whole time?
love_me_electric 20
You mean you would actually want to admit to all your friends that your child is chasing people with knifeguns and setting fire to things? If anything, I'd be more ashamed to be the parent than the babysitter.
humanityislost 5
I hope they pay well.