Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
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Top comments
xlord 27
So you are dealing with a real life version of Chucky?
JoeyJaws68 18
How long were things going well? 10 minutes?
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Comments (114)
timotay 4
"Anarchy!!! Anarchy! I don't know what it is but I love it!!"
alshygirl 14
Wow after all that i hope you get a decent wage. Not that money can erase the emotional damage done but it sweetens the pot lol
graceinsheepwear 34
I think the kid is more emotionally damaged than OP. Maybe OP could use the money to bribe the kid next time.
NotoriousLES 14
I think someone needs to whip the child and slap the sitter senseless (not that she appears to posses any to begin with). At the least, her pay check can go right in to that blazing BBQ fire. One dose not get paid for gross incompetence or blatant negligence.
BradTheBrony 19
Somebody didn't do their job right? PHYSICAL VIOLENCE!
Pancakes017 19
Demand hazard pay.
JanisEvans 10
Somewhere along these events unfolding it was your responsibility to intervene. YDI.
JanisEvans 10
It's a KID. And it shouldn't have been able to get the knife to begin with. Massive babysitter fail.
TAKEEEEES 8
Wow
LtBoom 13
And where exactly were you at during all of that? YDI.
artyler 3
You were babysitting and didn't stop a child from playing with a knife before it was duct taped to a gun? After that, you didn't watch him close enough to stop him from starting a fire? And then one climbs on a roof? You need to find another line of work, and don't have kids of your own until you learn how to watch/control children.
Enslaved 38
Oops! I replied before I read your comment and said almost the same thing.
Axel5238 29
Are you looking after the OP's kid that held down the starter for the self propelled lawn mower? Seriously though, how did the kid get a hold of matches and or lighter fluid and set the barbecue on fire and you didn't notice till it was too late? I see you on an episode of world's dumbest in the near future.
Mithylove 13
Silence from kids usually means they are up to something.
ozpunker 20
That's why I like being a karate instructor. I can hit my kids... Of course I'm being facetious.