Today, I had to deal with my crazy new neighbour who tried to physically stop me from laying my new driveway, on my property, because she claimed she’s allergic to cement while it’s still wet. Even if that were true, piss off back to your house away from the wet cement then. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, my new neighbour is delusional. She’s only lived next door 3 weeks and she’s called the police on me 11 times for “taking his bin out so he can look in my window”, “hanging out the washing so he can look in my window” and “barbecuing with his kids so he can look in my window.” Crazy bitch. FML
Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor pounding on her roof/my floor. I thought she was being a Karen and wanting me to be quiet, even though I wasn’t doing anything. I stomped back defiantly to make a point. Turns out she was having an asthma attack and was asking for help. Oops. FML
Today, I still can't open my curtains or door without my ADHD teenage neighbour screaming my name and waving from my across the road. I moved from a city to this place so I could have a big garden to help my extreme social anxiety. When I go outside, she comes running over. Sometimes she brings her dog, who shits on my lawn. FML
Today, my husband discovered our neighbour's fence was over our property line by 6 feet and kicked up a fuss about moving the fence. It turns out my husband can’t measure for shit. The fence is actually inside the neighbour's property, and he insisted we move it. There is now no room to park my car. FML
Today, I learned the VERY hard way that if you’re gonna go onto your neighbor’s property, yell at them for parking on your side of the street, and threaten to call the city on them, then you should probably make sure she doesn’t have pepper spray. FML
Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML
Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML
Today, my batshit crazy downstairs neighbor threatened me with "legal action" for making too much noise. According to her, it’s "illegal" for people in upstairs apartments to use vacuum cleaners, therefore I must sweep my carpets to avoid disturbing her and her imaginary guests. FML
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Top comments
D J's MOM 17
Wow, she is batshit crazy! Do yourself a favor and start documenting everything she does to you. Good luck, I think you're gonna need it with this one.
Chazzster 32
Things like this make me appreciate my own neighbors - Occasionally slightly annoying, but not batshit crazy!
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Comments (4)
D J's MOM 17
Wow, she is batshit crazy! Do yourself a favor and start documenting everything she does to you. Good luck, I think you're gonna need it with this one.
Chazzster 32
Things like this make me appreciate my own neighbors - Occasionally slightly annoying, but not batshit crazy!
tiptoppc 21
Tell her those 5G antennas you have on top of your house are protecting her from pedophile government cabals, but they also shoot tiny nano machines with invisible vaccines that cause autism and covid, but protects her from wet concrete allergies. If she asks for proof, tell her you have concrete evidence that if she comes over screaming insanities, the FBI listening on the 5G will arrest her. Then call 911 and report harassment from a neighbor who is mentally unwell and experiencing a mental health crisis. Rinse and repeat!
FluffythePink 23
Maybe if she stopped sniffing glue her 'allergies' would improve...