Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go to work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
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Top comments
SPC117 5
Instead of "DUMP THAT *****" I'm going to go with a more elegant "ditch that bitch"
savona01 7
That sucks! It happen to me....with my wife! While I was out of town for Training...
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Comments (237)
every1luvsboners 11
She found a pinch hitter that can cover all the bases.
kawaiianime 5
Top 100 ways to find out your girlfriend is cheating on you...
midnightxloner 1
What are the other 99
MrSexyPants 14
Finding a man hiding in your closet
lustheart 7
Find a used condom in her trash....you had a vasectomy.
ty1992_farmlife 12
To actually walk-in on her having sex someone that's not you. Worst part about that, she tells you to close the door..
white16sox 19
Finding a used condom in her room... you're still a virgin.
turtleomnom 0
how is it that he didn't know who was in the house. you'd think that he'd at least see the guy leave the house...
Isoldael 27
Maybe her dad came into the house after the guy was already there, and left before he came out of the room? And hearing sex sounds probably made him think it was his daughter's boyfriend (and unlike 90% of the FML parents, didn't barge in without knocking :p).
ryanst 7
Time for my favorite solution to problems like this. I call it the "Smack-a-bitch" method.
TheDrifter 24
Are you going for the new King of the Smackaho tribe title? Might be tough to get it away from Chris Brown.
djmigues 7
How does it work?!
trollsemen 8
Dump that bitch.
stangbabyxo4 7
Aw, time too move on!
The_Mooinator 4
hopefully he somehow misheard, but that still sucks.
neverenoughtime 0
Out of curiosity what if her dad was either trying to find out if his daughter was sexually active or just didn't like you and knew the one thing that would split y'all up
downnout85 0
Brilliant!!!
imcutefml 0
Im going to use that >:) troll win
howbout_thisone 13
Time to move on dude, not worth stickin with someone who isn't going to stay true to you when you're not around.
Freeze_fml 17
Explain to her dad how she's a cheating bitch.