Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go to work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
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Top comments
SPC117 5
Instead of "DUMP THAT *****" I'm going to go with a more elegant "ditch that bitch"
savona01 7
That sucks! It happen to me....with my wife! While I was out of town for Training...
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Comments (237)
mrjude 3
If he was mad that he "heard you", then the best response would've been to tell him you were out of town all weekend and she must've been having sex with someone else... Then she'd definitely be in trouble.
bubo_fml 11
"Dammit! I thought the 3rd baseman was just out sick!"
blazinjsin 5
I hope you pointed that out to her and to him when you dumped her on the spot. That's what i would have done.
bubo_fml 11
Someone hit a home run...She threw you for a curve...Batter up?!? (think about it...) All strikes & no balls...Your outa there! (I gotta million of 'em!)
bubo_fml 11
Your suspicions should've been raised when she ordered the foot long hot dog at the ballpark...
Sab0026 0
Dump her ass! Hate when a relationship has a issue like this. I'm sorry to hear this happened to you.
bubo_fml 11
"Well Sir, I'm surprised you heard anything at all since her mouth was full!" (Thank you, thank you...I'm here all week!)
Jasonf6 0
And women call men dogs. Rofl
NuckinFutz 4
If your having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't 1
hateevryone 15
so this means you need to talk to your supposed-to-be gf.